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and his seven castles. THERE was a certain king of Bo - - he ------ As the corporal was entering the con- fines of Bohemia, my uncle Toby obliged him to halt for a single moment ; he had set out bare-headed, having, since he pull'd off his Montero-cap in the latter end of the last chapter, left it lying beside him on the ground. ---- The eye of Goodness espieth all things ---- so that before the corporal had well got through the first five words of |
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of his story, had my uncle Toby twice touch'd his Montero-cap with the end of his cane, interrogatively ---- as much as to say, Why don't you put it on, Trim? Trim took it up with the most respect- ful slowness, and casting a glance of hu- miliation as he did it, upon the em- broidery of the fore-part, which being dismally tarnish'd and fray'd moreover in some of the principal leaves and bold- est parts of the pattern, he lay'd it down again betwixt his two feet, in or- der to moralize upon the subject. ---- 'Tis every word of it but too true, cried my uncleToby, that thou art about to observe ---- ``Nothing |
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``Nothing in this world, Trim, is ``made to last for ever.'' ---- But when tokens, dear Tom, of thy love and remembrance wear out, said Trim, what shall we say? There is no occasion, Trim, quoth my uncle Toby, to say any thing else ; and was a man to puzzle his brains till Doom's day, I believe, Trim, it would be impossible. The corporal perceiving my uncle Toby was in the right, and that it would be in vain for the wit of man to think of extracting a purer moral from his cap, without further attempting it, he put it on ; and passing his hand across his fore- 9 head |
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head to rub out a pensive wrinkle, which the text and the doctrine between them had engender'd, he return'd, with the same look and tone of voice, to his story of the king of Bohemia and his seven castles. The |
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his seven castles, continued. THERE was a certain king of Bohemia, but in whose reign, ex- cept his own, I am not able to inform your honour ---- I do not desire it of thee, Trim, by any means, cried my uncleToby. ---- It was a little before the time, an' please your honour, when giants were beginning to leave off breeding ; -- but in what year of our Lord that was ---- ---- I would |
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---- I would not give a half-penny to know, said my uncle Toby. ---- Only, an' please your honour, it makes a story look the better in the face ---- ---- 'Tis thy own, Trim, so orna- ment it after thy own fashion ; and take any date, continued my uncle Toby, looking pleasantly upon him -- take any date in the whole world thou choosest, and put it to -- thou art heartily wel- come ---- The corporal bowed ; for of every century, and of every year of that cen- tury, from the first creation of the world down to Noah's flood ; and from Noah's VOL. VIII F flood |
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flood to the birth of Abraham ; through all the pilgrimages of the patriarchs, to the departure of the Israelites out of Egypt ---- and throughout all the Dy- nasties, Olympiads, Urbecondita's, and other memorable epochas of the differ- ent nations of the world, down to the coming of Christ, and from thence to the very moment in which the cor- poral was telling his story ---- had my uncle Toby subjected this vast empire of time and all its abysses at his feet ; but as MODESTY scarce touches with a finger what LIBERALITY offers her with both hands open -- the corporal contented him- self with the very worst year of the whole bunch ; which, to prevent your honours of the Majority and Minority from tearing the very flesh off your bones 8 in |
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in contestation, `Whether that year is not always the last cast-year of the last cast- almanack' ---- I tell you plainly it was ; but from a different reason than you wot of ---- ---- It was the year next him ---- which being the year of our Lord seventeen hundred and twelve, when the duke of Ormond was playing the devil in Flanders ---- the corpo- ral took it, and set out with it afresh on his expedition to Bohemia. F 2 The |
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his seven castles, continued. IN the year of our Lord one thou- sand seven hundred and twelve, there was, an' please your honour ---- ---- To tell thee truly, Trim, quoth my uncle Toby, any other date would have pleased me much better, not only on account of the sad stain upon our history that year, in marching off our troops, and refusing to cover the siege of Quesnoi, though Fagel was carrying on the works with such incredible vigour -- but likewise on the score, Trim, of thy own story ; because if there are -- and which, from what thou hast dropt, I partly |
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partly suspect to be the fact -- if there are giants in it ---- There is but one, an' please your ho- nour ---- ---- 'Tis as bad as twenty, replied my uncle Toby ---- thou should'st have carried him back some seven or eight hundred years out of harm's way, both of criticks and other people ; and there- fore I would advise thee, if ever thou tellest it again ---- ---- If I live, an' please your honour, but once to get through it, I will ne- ver tell it again, quoth Trim, either to man, woman, or child ---- Poo -- poo! said my uncle Toby -- but with accents of such sweet encouragement did he F 3 utter |
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utter it, that the corporal went on with his story with more alacrity than ever. his seven castles, continued. THERE was, an' please your honour, said the corporal, raising his voice and rubbing the palms of his two hands cheerily together as he begun, a certain king of Bohemia ---- ---- Leave out the date entirely, Trim, quoth my uncleToby, leaning forwards, and laying his hand gently upon the corporal's shoulder to temper the interruption -- leave it out entirely, Trim ; a story passes very well without these niceties, unless one is pretty sure of |
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of 'em ---- Sure of 'em! said the cor- poral, shaking his head ---- Right ; answered my uncle Toby, it is not easy, Trim, for one, bred up as thou and I have been to arms, who sel- dom looks further forwards than to the end of his musket, or backwards beyond his knapsack, to know much about this matter ---- God bless your honour! said the corporal, won by the manner of my uncle Toby's reasoning, as much as by the reasoning itself, he has something else to do ; if not on action, or a march, or upon duty in his garrison -- he has his firelock, an' please your honour, to furbish -- his accoutrements to take care of -- his regimentals to mend -- himself to shave and keep clean, so as to appear al- F 4 ways |
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ways like what he is upon the parade ; what business, added the corporal tri- umphantly, has a soldier, an' please your honour, to know any thing at all of geo- graphy? ---- Thou would'st have said chro- nology, Trim, said my uncle Toby ; for as for geography, 'tis of absolute use to him ; he must be acquainted in- timately with every country and its boun- daries where his profession carries him ; he should know every town and city, and village and hamlet, with the canals, the roads, and hollow ways which lead up to them ; there is not a river or a rivu- let he passes, Trim, but he should be able at first sight to tell thee what is its name -- in what mountains it takes its rise |
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rise -- what is its course -- how far it is na- vigable -- where fordable -- where not ; he should know the fertility of every val- ley, as well as the hind who ploughs it ; and be able to describe, or, if it is re- quired, to give thee an exact map of all the plains and defiles, the forts, the ac- clivities, the woods and morasses, thro' and by which his army is to march ; he should know their produce, their plants, their minerals, their waters, their ani- mals, their seasons, their climates, their heats and cold, their inhabitants, their customs, their language, their policy, and even their religion. Is it else to be conceived, corporal, continued my uncle Toby, rising up in his sentry-box, as he began to warm in this part |
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part of his discourse -- how Marlborough could have marched his army from the banks of the Maes to Belburg ; from Bel- burg to Kerpenord -- (here the corporal could sit no longer) from Kerpenord, Trim, to Kalsaken ; from Kalsaken to Newdorf ; from Newdorf to Landen- bourg ; from Landenbourg to Milden- heim ; from Mildenheim to Elchingen ; from Elchingen to Gingen ; from Gingen to Balmerchoffen ; from Balmerchoffen to Skellenburg, where he broke in upon the enemy's works ; forced his passage over the Danube ; cross'd the Lech -- pushed on his troops into the heart of the empire, marching at the head of them through Friburg, Hokenwert, and Schonevelt, to the plains of Blenheim and Hochstet? ---- Great as he was, corporal, he could not |
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not have advanced a step, or made one single day's march without the aids of Geography ---- As for Chronology, I own, Trim, continued my uncle Toby, sitting down again coolly in his sentry-box, that of all others, it seems a science which the soldier might best spare, was it not for the lights which that science must one day give him, in determining the inven- tion of powder ; the furious execution of which, renversing every thing like thun- der before it, has become a new æra to us of military improvements, changing so totally the nature of attacks and defences both by sea and land, and awakening so much art and skill in doing it, that the world cannot be too exact in ascertaining the precise time of its discovery, or too inquisitive in knowing what great man was |
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was the discoverer, and what occasions gave birth to it. I am far from controverting, conti- nued my uncle Toby, what historians agree in, that in the year of our Lord 1380, under the reign of Wenceslaus, son of Charles the fourth ---- a certain priest, whose name was Schwartz, shew'd the use of powder to the Venetians, in their wars against the Genoese ; but 'tis certain he was not the first ; because if we are to believe Don Pedro the bishop of Leon -- How came priests and bishops, an' please your honour, to trouble their heads so much about gun-powder? God knows, said my uncle Toby ---- his pro- vidence brings good out of every thing -- and he avers, in his chronicle of King Alphonsus, who reduced Toledo, That in |
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in the year 1343, which was full thirty seven years before that time, the secret of powder was well known, and employ- ed with success, both by Moors and Christians, not only in their sea-combats, at that period, but in many of their most memorable sieges in Spain and Barbary -- And all the world knows, that Friar Bacon had wrote expressly about it, and had generously given the world a receipt to make it by, above a hundred and fifty years before even Schwartz was born -- And that the Chinese, added my uncle Toby, embarass us, and all accounts of it still more, by boasting of the inven- tion some hundreds of years even before him ---- -- They are a pack of liars, I believe, cried Trim ---- ---- They |
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---- They are some how or other de- ceived, said my uncle Toby, in this mat- ter, as is plain to me from the present miserable state of military architecture amongst them ; which consists of nothing more than a fossè with a brick wall with- out flanks -- and for what they give us as a bastion at each angle of it, 'tis so bar- barously constructed, that it looks for all the world ---------- Like one of my seven castles, an' please your honour, quoth Trim. My uncle Toby, tho' in the utmost distress for a comparison, most courte- ously refused Trim's offer -- till Trim tell- ing him, he had half a dozen more in Bohemia, which he knew not how to get off his hands ---- my uncle Toby was so touch'd |
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touch'd with the pleasantry of heart of the corporal ---- that he discontinued his dissertation upon gunpowder ---- and begged the corporal forthwith to go on with his story of the King of Bohemia and his seven castles. his seven castles, continued. THIS unfortunate King of Bohemia, said Trim ---- Was he unfortu- nate then? cried my uncle Toby, for he had been so wrapt up in his dissertation upon gun-powder and other military affairs, that tho' he had desired the cor- poral to go on, yet the many interrup- tions he had given, dwelt not so strong upon his fancy, as to account for the epithet |