[ 20 ]

  Thou art a good-natured soul, I will
answer for thee, cried my uncle Toby ;
and thou shalt drink the poor gentle-
man's health in a glass of sack thyself,
-- and take a couple of bottles with my
service, and tell him he is heartily wel-
come to them, and to a dozen more if
they will do him good.

  Though I am persuaded, said my un-
cle Toby, as the landlord shut the door,
he is a very compassionate fellow -- Trim,
-- yet I cannot help entertaining a high
opinion of his guest too ; there must be
something more than common in him,
that in so short a time should win so
much upon the affections of his host ;
---- And of his whole family, added
the corporal, for they are all concerned
for him. ---- Step after him, said my

[ 21 ]

uncle Toby, -- do Trim, -- and ask if he
knows his name.

  ---- I have quite forgot it, truly,
said the landlord, coming back into the
parlour with the corporal, -- but I can
ask his son again : ---- Has he a son with
him then ? said my uncle Toby. -- A boy,
replied the landlord, of about eleven or
twelve years of age ; -- but the poor crea-
ture has tasted almost as little as his fa-
ther ; he does nothing but mourn and
lament for him night and day : ---- He
has not stirred from the bedside these
two days.

  My uncle Toby laid down his knife
and fork, and thrust his plate from be-
fore him, as the landlord gave him the
account ; and Trim, without being or-
dered, took away without saying one
             C 3              word,

[ 22 ]

word, and in a few minutes after brought
him his pipe and tobacco.

  ---- Stay in the room a little, said
my uncle Toby. ----

  Trim ! ---- said my uncle Toby, after
he lighted his pipe, and smoak'd about
a dozen whiffs. ---- Trim came in front
of his master and made his bow ; -- my
uncle Toby smoak'd on, and said no
more. ---- Corporal! said my uncle Toby
---- the corporal made his bow. ----
My uncle Toby proceeded no farther, but
finished his pipe.

  Trim ! said my uncle Toby, I have a
project in my head, as it is a bad night,
of wrapping myself up warm in my ro-
quelaure, and paying a visit to this poor
gentleman. ---- Your honour's roque-

[ 23 ]

laure, replied the corporal, has not
once been had on, since the night before
your honour received your wound, when
we mounted guard in the trenches be-
fore the gate of St. Nicholas ; ---- and
besides it is so cold and rainy a night,
that what with the roquelaure, and what
with the weather, 'twill be enough to
give your honour your death, and bring
on your honour's torment in your groin.
I fear so ; replied my uncle Toby, but I
am not at rest in my mind Trim, since
the account the landlord has given me.
---- I wish I had not known so much of
this affair, -- added my uncle Toby, -- or
that I had known more of it : ---- How
shall we manage it ? Leave it, an't
please your honour, to me, quoth the
corporal ; ---- I'll take my hat and stick
and go to the house and reconnoitre, and
act accordingly ; and I will bring your
             C 4              honour

[ 24 ]

honour a full account in an hour. ----
Thou shalt go, Trim, said my uncle
Toby, and here's a shilling for thee to
drink with his servant. ---- I shall get it
all out of him, said the corporal, shut-
ting the door.

  My uncle Toby filled his second pipe ;
and had it not been, that he now and
then wandered from the point, with
considering whether it was not full as
well to have the curtain of the tennaile
a straight line, as a crooked one, -- he
might be said to have thought of no-
thing else but poor Le Fever and his boy
the whole time he smoaked it.

                          C H A P.

[ 25 ]


The Story of LE FEVER continued.

IT was not till my uncle Toby had
knocked the ashes out of his third
pipe, that corporal Trim returned from
the inn, and gave him the following

  I despaired at first, said the corporal,
of being able to bring back your honour
any kind of intelligence concerning the
poor sick lieutenant -- Is he in the army
then ? said my uncle Toby ---- He is :
said the corporal ---- And in what re-
giment ? said my uncle Toby ---- I'll tell
your honour, replied the corporal, every
thing straight forwards, as I learnt it. --
Then, Trim, I'll fill another pipe, said
my uncle Toby, and not interrupt thee

[ 26 ]

till thou hast done ; so sit down at thy
ease, Trim, in the window seat, and be-
gin thy story again. The corporal made
his old bow, which generally spoke as
plain as a bow could speak it -- Your
honour is good :
---- And having done
that, he sat down, as he was ordered, --
and begun the story to my uncle Toby
over again in pretty near the same

  I despaired at first, said the corporal,
of being able to bring back any intelli-
gence to your honour, about the lieute-
nant and his son ; for when I asked
where his servant was, from whom I
made myself sure of knowing every
thing which was proper to be asked, --
That's a right distinction, Trim, said my
uncle Toby -- I was answered, an' please
your honour, that he had no servant

[ 27 ]

with him ; ---- that he had come to the
inn with hired horses, which, upon
finding himself unable to proceed, (to
join, I suppose, the regiment) he had
dismissed the morning after he came. --
If I get better, my dear, said he, as he
gave his purse to his son to pay the man,
-- we can hire horses from hence. ----
But alas ! the poor gentleman will never
get from hence, said the landlady to me,
-- for I heard the death-watch all night
long ; ---- and when he dies, the youth,
his son, will certainly die with him ;
for he is broken hearted already.

  I was hearing this account, continued
the corporal, when the youth came into
the kitchen, to order the thin toast the
landlord spoke of ; ---- but I will do it
for my father myself, said the youth.
---- Pray let me save you the trouble,

[ 28 ]

young gentleman, said I, taking up a
fork for the purpose, and offering him
my chair to sit down upon by the fire,
whilst I did it. ---- I believe, Sir, said he,
very modestly, I can please him best
myself. ---- I am sure, said I, his honour
will not like the toast the worse for being
toasted by an old soldier. ---- The youth
took hold of my hand, and instantly
burst into tears. ---- Poor youth ! said
my uncle Toby, -- he has been bred up
from an infant in the army, and the
name of a soldier, Trim, sounded in his
ears like the name of a friend ; -- I wish
I had him here.

  ---- I never in the longest march,
said the corporal, had so great a mind to
my dinner, as I had to cry with him
for company : -- What could be the mat-
ter with me, an' please your honour ?

[ 29 ]

Nothing in the world, Trim, said my
uncle Toby, blowing his nose, -- but that
thou art a good natured fellow.

  When I gave him the toast, continued
the corporal, I thought it was proper to
tell him I was Captain Shandy's servant,
and that your honour (though a stran-
ger) was extremely concerned for his
father ; -- and that if there was any thing
in your house or cellar ---- (And thou
might'st have added my purse too, said
my uncle Toby) ---- he was heartily wel-
come to it : ---- He made a very low
bow, (which was meant to your honour)
but no answer, -- for his heart was full --
so he went up stairs with the toast ; -- I
warrant you, my dear, said I, as I open-
ed the kitchen door, your father will be
well again. ---- Mr. Yorick's curate was

[ 30 ]

smoaking a pipe by the kitchen fire, --
but said not a word good or bad to com-
fort the youth. ---- I thought it wrong ;
added the corporal ---- I think so too,
said my uncle Toby.

  When the lieutenant had taken his
glass of sack and toast, he felt himself
a little revived, and sent down into the
kitchen, to let me know, that in about
ten minutes he should be glad if I
would step up stairs. ---- I believe, said
the landlord, he is going to say his
prayers, ---- for there was a book laid
upon the chair by his bedside, and as I
shut the door, I saw his son take up a
cushion. ----

  I thought, said the curate, that you
gentlemen of the army, Mr. Trim, never
said your prayers at all. ---- I heard the

[ 31 ]

poor gentleman say his prayers last
night, said the landlady, very devoutly,
and with my own ears, or I could not
have believed it. ---- Are you sure of it ?
replied the curate. ---- A soldier, an'
please your reverence, said I, prays as
often (of his own accord) as a parson ;
---- and when he is fighting for his
king, and for his own life, and for his
honour too, he has the most reason to
pray to God, of any one in the whole
world ---- 'Twas well said of thee, Trim,
said my uncle Toby. ---- But when a sol-
dier, said I, an' please your reverence,
has been standing for twelve hours toge-
ther in the trenches, up to his knees in
cold water, -- or engaged, said I, for
months together in long and dangerous
marches ; -- harassed, perhaps, in his
rear to-day ; -- harassing others to-mor-
row ; -- detached here ; -- countermanded
                          there ;

[ 32 ]

there ; -- resting this night out upon his
arms ; -- beat up in his shirt the next ; --
benumbed in his joints ; -- perhaps with-
out straw in his tent to kneel on ; -- must
say his prayers how and when he can. --
I believe, said I, -- for I was piqued,
quoth the corporal, for the reputation
of the army, -- I believe, an' please your
reverence, said I, that when a soldier
gets time to pray, -- he prays as heartily
as a parson, -- though not with all his
fuss and hypocrisy. ---- Thou shouldst
not have said that, Trim, said my uncle
Toby, -- for God only knows who is a hy-
pocrite, and who is not : ---- At the
great and general review of us all, cor-
poral, at the day of judgment, (and
not till then) -- it will be seen who has
done their duties in this world, -- and
who has not ; and we shall be advanced,
Trim, accordingly. ---- I hope we shall,

[ 33 ]

said Trim. ---- It is in the Scripture, said
my uncle Toby ; and I will shew it thee
to-morrow : --- In the mean time we
may depend upon it, Trim, for our
comfort, said my uncle Toby, that God
Almighty is so good and just a gover-
nor of the world, that if we have but
done our duties in it, -- it will never be
enquired into, whether we have done
them in a red coat or a black one : ----
I hope not ; said the corporal ---- But
go on, Trim, said my uncle Toby, with
thy story.

  When I went up, continued the cor-
poral, into the lieutenant's room, which
I did not do till the expiration of the
ten minutes, -- he was lying in his bed
with his head raised upon his hand,
with his elbow upon the pillow, and a
clean white cambrick handkerchief be-
  VOL. VI.        D            side

[ 34 ]

side it : ---- The youth was just stooping
down to take up the cushion, upon
which I supposed he had been kneeling,
-- the book was laid upon the bed, --
and as he rose, in taking up the cushion
with one hand, he reached out his other
to take it away at the same time. ----
Let it remain there, my dear, said the

  He did not offer to speak to me, till
I had walked up close to his bed-side : --
If you are Captain Shandy's servant, said
he, you must present my thanks to your
master, with my little boy's thanks
along with them, for his courtesy to
me ; -- if he was of Leven's -- said the
lieutenant. -- I told him your honour
was -- Then, said he, I served three cam-
paigns with him in Flanders, and re-
member him, -- but 'tis most likely, as
                          I had

[ 35 ]

I had not the honour of any acquaint-
ance with him, that he knows nothing
of me. ---- You will tell him, however,
that the person his good nature has laid
under obligations to him, is one Le
, a lieutenant in Angus's ---- but
he knows me not, -- said he, a second
time, musing ; ---- possibly he may
my story -- added he -- pray tell the cap-
tain, I was the ensign at Breda, whose
wife was most unfortunately killed with
a musket shot, as she lay in my arms in
my tent. ---- I remember the story, an't
please your honour, said I, very well.
---- Do you so ? said he, wiping his
eyes with his handkerchief, -- then well
may I. -- In saying this, he drew a little
ring out of his bosom, which seemed
tied with a black ribband about his neck,
and kiss'd it twice ---- Here, Billy, said
he, ---- the boy flew across the room to
             D 2              the

[ 36 ]

the bed-side, -- and falling down upon
his knee, took the ring in his hand, and
kissed it too, -- then kissed his father,
and sat down upon the bed and wept.

  I wish, said my uncle Toby, with a
deep sigh, -- I wish, Trim, I was asleep.

  Your honour, replied the corporal,
is too much concerned ; -- shall I pour
your honour out a glass of sack to your
pipe ? ---- Do, Trim, said my uncle

  I remember, said my uncle Toby,
sighing again, the story of the ensign
and his wife, with a circumstance his
modesty omitted ; -- and particularly well
that he, as well as she, upon some ac-
count or other, (I forget what) was uni-
versally pitied by the whole regiment ;
                          -- but

[ 37 ]

  -- but finish the story thou art upon :
-- 'Tis finished already, said the corpo-
ral, -- for I could stay no longer, -- so
wished his honour a good night ; young
Le Fever rose from off the bed, and saw
me to the bottom of the stairs ; and as
we went down together, told me, they
had come from Ireland, and were on
their route to join the regiment in Flan-
. ---- But alas ! said the corporal, --
the lieutenant's last day's march is over.
--- Then what is to become of his poor
boy ? cried my uncle Toby.


The Story of LE FEVER continued.

IT was to my uncle Toby's eternal ho-
nour, ---- though I tell it only for
the sake of those, who, when coop'd
in betwixt a natural and a positive law,
             D 3              know

[ 38 ]

know not for their souls, which way in
the world to turn themselves ---- That
notwithstanding my uncle Toby was warm-
ly engaged at that time in carrying on
the siege of Dendermond, parallel with
the allies, who pressed theirs on so vigo-
rously, that they scarce allowed him
time to get his dinner ---- that never-
theless he gave up Dendermond, though
he had already made a lodgment upon
the counterscarp ; -- and bent his whole
thoughts towards the private distresses at
the inn ; and, except that he ordered
the garden gate to be bolted up, by
which he might be said to have turned
the siege of Dendermond into a blockade,
-- he left Dendermond to itself, -- to be
relieved or not by the French king, as
the French king thought good ; and
only considered how he himself should
relieve the poor lieutenant and his son.
                          ---- That

[ 39 ]

  ---- That kind BEING, who is a
friend to the friendless, shall recompence
thee for this.

  Thou hast left this matter short, said
my uncle Toby to the corporal, as he was
putting him to bed, ---- and I will tell
thee in what, Trim. ---- In the first
place, when thou madest an offer of my
services to Le Fever, -- as sickness and
travelling are both expensive, and thou
knowest he was but a poor lieutenant,
with a son to subsist as well as himself,
out of his pay, -- that thou didst not
make an offer to him of my purse ; be-
cause, had he stood in need, thou know-
est, Trim, he had been as welcome to it
as myself. ---- Your honour knows, said
the corporal, I had no orders ; ---- True,
quoth my uncle Toby, -- thou didst very
             D 4              right,