AI-Generated Graded Readers
Masaru Uchida, Gifu University
Publication webpage:
https://www1.gifu-u.ac.jp/~masaru/a1/ai-generated_graded_readers.html
Publication date: March 16, 2026
About This Edition
This book is a simplified English adaptation created for extensive reading practice.
The text was generated using ChatGPT and prepared for intermediate English learners as part of an educational project.
Target reading level: CEFR A2-B1
This edition aims to support fluency development through accessible vocabulary, expanded narration, and improved readability while preserving the original story structure.
Source Text
Original work: The Importance of Being Earnest: A Trivial Comedy for Serious People
Author: Oscar Wilde
Source: Project Gutenberg
https://www.gutenberg.org/
Full text available at:
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The original text is in the public domain.
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The source text is provided by Project Gutenberg under its public domain policy.
Users should refer to the Project Gutenberg License for full terms:
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Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest: A Trivial Comedy for Serious People (Simplified Edition, Adapted and Simplified by ChatGPT)
Dramatis Personae
John Worthing, J.P.
Algernon Moncrieff
Rev. Canon Chasuble, D.D.
Merriman, Butler
Lane, Manservant
Lady Bracknell
Hon. Gwendolen Fairfax
Cecily Cardew
Miss Prism, Governess
Part 1
Act I
Algernon Moncrieff’s Flat in Half-Moon Street, London.
Lane and Algernon are in the room. The room is comfortable and rich. There are flowers on the table. Tea things stand ready.
Algernon sits at the piano and plays softly.
Lane stands near the table and prepares the tea.
ALGERNON
Lane, did you hear what I was playing just now?
LANE
I did not think it polite to listen, sir.
ALGERNON
That is very thoughtful of you, Lane. I do not play well enough for people to listen to me. Anyone can play well. But to play badly with feeling—that is rare.
LANE
Yes, sir.
ALGERNON
And now, Lane, about the sandwiches. Why are there so few cucumber sandwiches? I ordered many for Lady Bracknell.
LANE
There were many sandwiches when I left the kitchen, sir.
ALGERNON
Very strange. I see only two or three now.
LANE
Yes, sir.
ALGERNON
Lane, did you eat the cucumber sandwiches?
LANE
I believe I did eat some of them, sir.
ALGERNON
All of them, I think.
LANE
Yes, sir.
ALGERNON
Well, Lane, it does not matter. Lady Bracknell will soon arrive, and she will certainly be angry.
LANE
Yes, sir.
A bell rings.
LANE
Mr. Ernest Worthing.
Lane leaves. Jack Worthing enters.
Jack is dressed well, but he looks a little nervous.
ALGERNON
How are you, my dear Ernest? What brings you to town?
JACK
My dear Algy, please do not call me Ernest. My name is Jack.
ALGERNON
But you always tell everyone that your name is Ernest.
JACK
That is true—in town.
ALGERNON
Then what is your name in the country?
JACK
Jack.
ALGERNON
That is very confusing. You seem to have two lives.
JACK
Yes. When one lives in the country, one must behave well. When one lives in town, one may enjoy life.
ALGERNON
So in the country you are serious Jack, and in town you are the pleasant Ernest.
JACK
Exactly.
ALGERNON
I like that very much. It is what I call Bunburying.
JACK
Bunburying?
ALGERNON
Yes. It means having a useful excuse for going somewhere else.
JACK
You always have strange ideas, Algy.
ALGERNON
Not strange—necessary. Modern life is impossible without them.
Jack sits down.
ALGERNON
Tell me, why have you come to town today?
JACK
I have come to propose to Gwendolen.
ALGERNON
My cousin Gwendolen?
JACK
Yes.
ALGERNON
That is serious news.
JACK
I hope she will accept me.
ALGERNON
I think she will. But you must ask her mother first.
JACK
Lady Bracknell?
ALGERNON
Yes.
JACK
That may be difficult.
ALGERNON
Very difficult.
Algernon suddenly sees Jack’s cigarette case on the table.
ALGERNON
What is this?
JACK
My cigarette case.
ALGERNON
May I look at it?
JACK
Of course.
Algernon opens the case and reads the writing inside.
ALGERNON
Interesting.
JACK
What is interesting?
ALGERNON
This message.
He reads.
ALGERNON
“To my dear Uncle Jack, from little Cecily, with her fondest love.”
He looks at Jack carefully.
ALGERNON
Now explain this.
JACK
It is nothing important.
ALGERNON
Who is Cecily?
JACK
She is my ward.
ALGERNON
Then why does she call you Uncle Jack if your name is Ernest?
Jack hesitates.
ALGERNON
Now I understand. You have invented a younger brother called Ernest.
JACK
Yes.
ALGERNON
You are very clever.
JACK
It was necessary.
ALGERNON
Why?
JACK
Because when I am in the country I must behave very well. I am responsible for Cecily. But sometimes I want to come to London and enjoy myself.
ALGERNON
So you say that your brother Ernest is always in trouble in London.
JACK
Yes.
ALGERNON
And when Ernest is in trouble, you must come to London to help him.
JACK
Exactly.
ALGERNON
That is Bunburying.
JACK
No, it is not.
ALGERNON
Of course it is.
Jack laughs a little but looks uneasy.
ALGERNON
My dear Jack, you have created a very useful brother.
JACK
But I will soon end this story.
ALGERNON
Why?
JACK
Because I am going to marry Gwendolen.
ALGERNON
Marriage ends many pleasant things.
JACK
Not this one.
ALGERNON
You will tell Gwendolen the truth?
JACK
No. She loves the name Ernest.
ALGERNON
She loves the name?
JACK
Yes. She says it inspires confidence.
ALGERNON
Women are very strange about names.
JACK
So I must keep the name Ernest.
ALGERNON
Then your double life will continue.
JACK
No. I will kill my brother Ernest.
ALGERNON
Kill him?
JACK
Yes. When I return to the country, I will announce that my brother Ernest has died.
ALGERNON
That is very dramatic.
JACK
It is the only solution.
Algernon laughs.
ALGERNON
My dear Jack, you are one of the greatest Bunburyists I have ever known.
A bell rings again.
LANE enters.
LANE
Lady Bracknell and Miss Fairfax.
ALGERNON
Show them in.
Lane leaves.
Jack quickly moves toward the door.
JACK
I must speak to Gwendolen alone.
ALGERNON
You will have your chance soon.
Jack straightens his coat and waits nervously.
Lady Bracknell and Gwendolen enter.
Lady Bracknell is large and dignified. Gwendolen is elegant and confident.
GWENDOLEN
Good afternoon, Algernon.
ALGERNON
My dear Gwendolen.
Lady Bracknell looks around the room.
LADY BRACKNELL
Algernon, I hope you have prepared the tea.
ALGERNON
Yes, Aunt Augusta.
Gwendolen suddenly notices Jack.
GWENDOLEN
Mr. Worthing!
JACK
Miss Fairfax.
They smile warmly at each other.
Lady Bracknell sits at the table.
LADY BRACKNELL
Algernon, you may take me to the dining room. I wish to speak to you about something important.
ALGERNON
Of course, Aunt Augusta.
Algernon stands.
Lady Bracknell rises.
She turns to Gwendolen.
LADY BRACKNELL
You may remain here, Gwendolen.
She turns again to Algernon.
LADY BRACKNELL
But do not eat the sandwiches before I return.
ALGERNON
Certainly not.
Lady Bracknell and Algernon leave the room.
Jack and Gwendolen are now alone.
Jack moves closer to her.
JACK
Miss Fairfax, ever since I met you, I have admired you more than any woman in the world.
GWENDOLEN
I have always felt that you were destined to say something like this.
JACK
Gwendolen—
GWENDOLEN
Yes, Mr. Worthing?
JACK
Will you marry me?
GWENDOLEN
Of course I will.
Jack looks very happy.
JACK
My darling!
GWENDOLEN
But I must tell you something.
JACK
Anything.
GWENDOLEN
I have always wished to love someone named Ernest.
Jack freezes slightly.
GWENDOLEN
The name Ernest inspires absolute trust.
JACK
Does it?
GWENDOLEN
Yes. I cannot imagine loving anyone whose name is not Ernest.
Jack smiles nervously.
JACK
My name is Ernest.
GWENDOLEN
I know.
She smiles warmly.
GWENDOLEN
That is why I love you.
Part 2
Act I (continued)
The room is quiet. Jack and Gwendolen stand near the window.
GWENDOLEN
From the first moment I saw you, I felt that your name must be Ernest.
JACK
Did you really?
GWENDOLEN
Yes. It was a divine instinct.
JACK
That is very interesting.
GWENDOLEN
If your name had been something else—something ordinary—I do not think I could have loved you.
JACK
Really?
GWENDOLEN
For example, the name Jack.
Jack becomes slightly uncomfortable.
GWENDOLEN
There is something weak about the name Jack. It has no music in it. Ernest is much stronger.
JACK
Yes… much stronger.
GWENDOLEN
It expresses truth and honor.
JACK
Indeed.
GWENDOLEN
So when you asked me to marry you, I felt certain that it must be right.
JACK
You make me very happy.
GWENDOLEN
And you must promise me one thing.
JACK
Anything.
GWENDOLEN
You must always be Ernest.
JACK
I promise.
They move closer together.
JACK
May I kiss you?
GWENDOLEN
Certainly.
Just as Jack moves toward her, the door opens.
Lady Bracknell enters suddenly.
Jack steps back at once.
LADY BRACKNELL
Gwendolen!
GWENDOLEN
Mama!
LADY BRACKNELL
What is the meaning of this?
GWENDOLEN
Mama, I am engaged to Mr. Worthing.
Lady Bracknell looks shocked.
LADY BRACKNELL
Pardon me?
GWENDOLEN
Mr. Worthing has proposed to me.
LADY BRACKNELL
Gwendolen, leave the room.
GWENDOLEN
Mama—
LADY BRACKNELL
At once.
Gwendolen looks at Jack.
GWENDOLEN
You may speak to Mama. I am sure she will understand.
She leaves the room.
Lady Bracknell sits in a large chair and looks at Jack very carefully.
LADY BRACKNELL
Mr. Worthing, I feel bound to tell you that you are not on my list of eligible young men.
JACK
I am sorry to hear that.
LADY BRACKNELL
What is your income?
JACK
Between seven and eight thousand a year.
Lady Bracknell looks pleased.
LADY BRACKNELL
That is satisfactory.
She opens a small notebook.
LADY BRACKNELL
Now I will ask you a few questions.
JACK
Certainly.
LADY BRACKNELL
Are your parents living?
JACK
I have lost both my parents.
LADY BRACKNELL
To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune. To lose both looks like carelessness.
JACK
I assure you it was not my fault.
LADY BRACKNELL
Who were your parents?
Jack hesitates.
JACK
I do not actually know.
Lady Bracknell stops writing.
LADY BRACKNELL
You do not know?
JACK
No.
LADY BRACKNELL
That is extremely unusual.
JACK
I was found.
LADY BRACKNELL
Found?
JACK
Yes.
LADY BRACKNELL
Where?
JACK
In a handbag.
Lady Bracknell looks completely shocked.
LADY BRACKNELL
A handbag?
JACK
Yes.
LADY BRACKNELL
Where was this handbag found?
JACK
At Victoria Station.
LADY BRACKNELL
The Brighton line?
JACK
Yes.
LADY BRACKNELL
In what part of the station?
JACK
In the cloakroom.
Lady Bracknell rises slowly.
LADY BRACKNELL
Mr. Worthing, I must say that I consider this matter extremely serious.
JACK
I understand.
LADY BRACKNELL
To be born—or at least found—in a handbag is a serious social error.
JACK
I regret the situation deeply.
LADY BRACKNELL
The handbag, I presume, had some mark of identity?
JACK
No.
LADY BRACKNELL
Then the whole matter is quite impossible.
JACK
But surely—
LADY BRACKNELL
Mr. Worthing, I cannot allow my daughter to marry into a cloakroom.
JACK
I will try to find my parents.
LADY BRACKNELL
Do so.
JACK
I will search everywhere.
LADY BRACKNELL
Until then, the engagement is entirely out of the question.
Jack looks very upset.
LADY BRACKNELL
Good afternoon, Mr. Worthing.
She moves toward the door.
Just then Gwendolen returns quickly.
GWENDOLEN
Mama, I must speak to you.
LADY BRACKNELL
You already know my decision.
GWENDOLEN
But I am engaged.
LADY BRACKNELL
You are not engaged.
GWENDOLEN
I am.
LADY BRACKNELL
You are not.
GWENDOLEN
Mama, I love him.
LADY BRACKNELL
You will forget him.
GWENDOLEN
Never.
LADY BRACKNELL
You must come with me.
She takes Gwendolen firmly by the arm.
GWENDOLEN
Mr. Worthing!
JACK
Miss Fairfax!
GWENDOLEN
Remember this. My ideal has always been to love someone named Ernest.
JACK
Yes.
GWENDOLEN
And I will love you always.
LADY BRACKNELL
Come, Gwendolen.
Lady Bracknell leads her out of the room.
Jack stands alone for a moment.
Then Algernon enters from the dining room.
ALGERNON
Well, my dear Ernest, how did the proposal go?
JACK
Lady Bracknell has refused the marriage.
ALGERNON
That is not surprising.
JACK
She asked many questions.
ALGERNON
She always does.
JACK
And she discovered that I was found in a handbag.
Algernon laughs loudly.
ALGERNON
A handbag!
JACK
Yes.
ALGERNON
That explains everything.
JACK
Everything?
ALGERNON
Why you live a double life.
JACK
This is serious.
ALGERNON
Very serious—and very amusing.
Jack walks around the room.
JACK
I must end my double life at once.
ALGERNON
How?
JACK
I will return to the country tomorrow.
ALGERNON
And then?
JACK
I will announce that my brother Ernest has died.
ALGERNON
Killed by what?
JACK
A severe chill.
ALGERNON
Very tragic.
JACK
Then I will live honestly as Jack Worthing.
Algernon looks thoughtful.
ALGERNON
Where exactly is your country house?
JACK
In Hertfordshire.
ALGERNON
And you live there with your ward Cecily?
JACK
Yes.
ALGERNON
She must be charming.
JACK
She is a very sweet girl.
ALGERNON
I would like to meet her.
JACK
You never will.
ALGERNON
Why not?
JACK
Because you are not invited.
Algernon smiles quietly.
ALGERNON
My dear Ernest, nothing is easier than visiting a country house.
JACK
I will not allow it.
ALGERNON
We shall see.
Jack picks up his hat.
JACK
Goodbye, Algy. I must return home and prepare for my brother’s death.
ALGERNON
Safe journey.
Jack leaves.
Algernon stands alone in the room.
He picks up the cigarette case again.
ALGERNON
Cecily Cardew.
He smiles slowly.
ALGERNON
I think I should visit the country.
He rings the bell.
Lane enters.
ALGERNON
Lane, bring me the railway guide.
LANE
Yes, sir.
Algernon sits down with great satisfaction.
Part 3
Act I (continued)
Algernon sits at the table and looks through the railway guide. Lane stands quietly nearby.
ALGERNON
Lane, there are many trains to Hertfordshire.
LANE
Yes, sir.
ALGERNON
It is a very convenient county.
LANE
Indeed, sir.
ALGERNON
One may easily go there in the afternoon and return to London in the evening.
LANE
Quite so, sir.
Algernon closes the railway guide and smiles.
ALGERNON
Lane, I believe I shall go to the country tomorrow.
LANE
Very good, sir.
ALGERNON
It is always pleasant to visit friends in the country.
LANE
Yes, sir.
ALGERNON
Even when they have not invited you.
LANE
That also happens, sir.
Algernon stands and walks slowly around the room.
ALGERNON
Lane, have you ever invented an imaginary friend?
LANE
No, sir.
ALGERNON
It is extremely useful.
LANE
I can imagine it would be, sir.
ALGERNON
My friend Bunbury, for example, is often ill.
LANE
That is unfortunate, sir.
ALGERNON
Yes. His health is very uncertain. Whenever I wish to escape from London, Bunbury suddenly becomes worse.
LANE
A most convenient illness, sir.
ALGERNON
Exactly.
Lane begins to clear the table.
ALGERNON
Lane, you may go.
LANE
Yes, sir.
Lane leaves the room.
Algernon walks to the mirror and adjusts his coat.
ALGERNON
Cecily Cardew.
He smiles.
ALGERNON
A charming name.
He sits again and writes something on a small card.
ALGERNON
“Mr. Ernest Worthing.”
He looks pleased with the name.
ALGERNON
Tomorrow I shall become Ernest.
He laughs quietly.
The curtain falls.
Act II
Garden at the Manor House, Woolton.
A wide garden stretches behind the house. There are trees and flowers. A small table stands under a large tree. Books and papers lie on the table.
Cecily Cardew sits at the table and writes in a diary.
Miss Prism stands nearby with a book in her hand.
CECILY
Miss Prism, I wish Uncle Jack would allow his brother Ernest to visit us.
MISS PRISM
I do not think that would be wise, Cecily.
CECILY
But I am very curious about him.
MISS PRISM
Your uncle has often told you that his brother is a very wicked man.
CECILY
Yes. That is why I wish to meet him.
MISS PRISM
You must not encourage such thoughts.
CECILY
But wicked people are sometimes very interesting.
MISS PRISM
They are never interesting for long.
Cecily closes her diary.
CECILY
Miss Prism, may I ask you a question?
MISS PRISM
Certainly, my dear.
CECILY
Why do people keep diaries?
MISS PRISM
To record their daily thoughts and actions.
CECILY
I write my diary before the events happen.
MISS PRISM
Before?
CECILY
Yes. It is much more interesting that way.
Miss Prism looks slightly confused.
MISS PRISM
I am not sure that is the proper use of a diary.
CECILY
But it makes life more exciting.
Miss Prism sighs gently.
MISS PRISM
Cecily, you must try to be serious.
CECILY
I am serious.
She opens her diary again.
CECILY
For example, yesterday I recorded that I had a long conversation with Uncle Jack’s brother Ernest.
MISS PRISM
But you did not see him yesterday.
CECILY
No, but I may see him one day.
MISS PRISM
I hope not.
CECILY
Why not?
MISS PRISM
Because your uncle has warned you about him.
CECILY
Yes, but Uncle Jack always speaks very kindly about Ernest at the end of the story.
MISS PRISM
Your uncle is a very good man.
CECILY
He is very serious.
MISS PRISM
Seriousness is a virtue.
CECILY
It must be very dull.
Miss Prism tries to hide a smile.
MISS PRISM
Cecily, we must now return to our studies.
CECILY
What shall we study today?
MISS PRISM
German grammar.
CECILY
German grammar is very difficult.
MISS PRISM
That is why we must study it.
Cecily stands reluctantly.
CECILY
Miss Prism, do you think Uncle Jack will come home today?
MISS PRISM
He wrote that he would return this afternoon.
CECILY
And perhaps his brother Ernest will come with him.
MISS PRISM
I sincerely hope not.
Just then the Reverend Canon Chasuble enters the garden.
He carries a hat and a book.
CHASUBLE
Good afternoon, Miss Prism.
MISS PRISM
Good afternoon, Dr. Chasuble.
CHASUBLE
Good afternoon, Miss Cecily.
CECILY
Good afternoon, Dr. Chasuble.
CHASUBLE
I hope I am not interrupting your studies.
MISS PRISM
Not at all.
CECILY
We were about to begin German grammar.
CHASUBLE
Ah, German grammar is a very serious subject.
CECILY
Yes. That is why I do not like it.
Chasuble smiles.
CHASUBLE
Miss Prism, I came to ask if you would join me for a short walk later this afternoon.
Miss Prism looks pleased but tries to appear calm.
MISS PRISM
That would be most agreeable.
CECILY
Dr. Chasuble, may I ask you a question?
CHASUBLE
Of course, Miss Cecily.
CECILY
If someone wishes to be christened again, is that possible?
Chasuble looks surprised.
CHASUBLE
Well… yes. Under certain circumstances.
CECILY
That is interesting.
MISS PRISM
Cecily, why do you ask such a question?
CECILY
I was simply curious.
At that moment Merriman enters from the house.
MERRIMAN
Miss Cardew, a gentleman has arrived.
CECILY
A gentleman?
MERRIMAN
Yes, Miss.
CECILY
What is his name?
MERRIMAN
Mr. Ernest Worthing.
Cecily jumps to her feet with excitement.
CECILY
Ernest!
Miss Prism looks very alarmed.
MISS PRISM
Mr. Ernest Worthing?
CECILY
At last he has come.
She turns quickly to Merriman.
CECILY
Please show him here at once.
MERRIMAN
Yes, Miss.
Merriman leaves.
Cecily looks delighted.
CECILY
Miss Prism, this is wonderful.
MISS PRISM
This is extremely unfortunate.
CECILY
I have waited so long to meet him.
MISS PRISM
Cecily, you must behave properly.
CECILY
Of course.
But she cannot hide her excitement.
A moment later Algernon enters.
He is dressed elegantly and smiles charmingly.
CECILY
Mr. Ernest Worthing!
ALGERNON
Miss Cardew, I suppose?
CECILY
Yes.
They look at each other with great curiosity.
Part 4
Act II (continued)
The garden is quiet. The afternoon sun shines through the trees.
Cecily stands before Algernon with bright excitement.
Miss Prism looks uneasy.
ALGERNON
Miss Cardew, I am very pleased to meet you.
CECILY
And I am very pleased to meet you.
She studies him carefully.
CECILY
You are my Uncle Jack’s brother.
ALGERNON
Yes.
CECILY
You have been very naughty.
ALGERNON
I am afraid that is true.
CECILY
But you look much better than I expected.
ALGERNON
Thank you.
CECILY
Uncle Jack often speaks about your terrible behavior.
ALGERNON
I regret that deeply.
CECILY
But I have always been very interested in you.
ALGERNON
That is kind of you.
Miss Prism steps forward.
MISS PRISM
Mr. Ernest Worthing, I must tell you that your presence here is quite unexpected.
ALGERNON
I apologize for arriving without notice.
MISS PRISM
Your brother has always warned us about you.
ALGERNON
My brother has a great imagination.
CECILY
Yes, Uncle Jack is very serious.
ALGERNON
Seriousness can be a great weakness.
MISS PRISM
Mr. Worthing, you must excuse us. Cecily and I were about to begin our studies.
CECILY
But Miss Prism—
MISS PRISM
Cecily.
CECILY
Very well.
She turns politely to Algernon.
CECILY
Mr. Ernest Worthing, perhaps you will walk in the garden while we finish our lesson.
ALGERNON
With pleasure.
MISS PRISM
Come, Cecily.
Miss Prism and Cecily move toward the house.
But before they leave, Cecily turns again to Algernon.
CECILY
Mr. Ernest Worthing, I hope you will not disappear suddenly.
ALGERNON
I promise I will remain here.
CECILY
That makes me very happy.
Miss Prism gently leads Cecily away.
Algernon sits in a chair under the tree.
ALGERNON
What a charming girl.
He looks around the garden.
ALGERNON
The country is very peaceful.
He takes a small flower from the table.
ALGERNON
Much more peaceful than London.
A short time later Cecily returns alone.
She carries a small watering can.
CECILY
Mr. Ernest Worthing.
ALGERNON
Miss Cardew.
CECILY
Miss Prism has gone to walk with Dr. Chasuble.
ALGERNON
How fortunate.
CECILY
I thought you might like to see the garden.
ALGERNON
Very much.
They walk slowly among the flowers.
CECILY
You have been very wicked, I hear.
ALGERNON
Yes.
CECILY
But I always hoped that you would become better.
ALGERNON
I am trying.
CECILY
That is good.
They stop near the table.
CECILY
I must confess something to you.
ALGERNON
Please do.
CECILY
For a long time I have been very interested in you.
ALGERNON
Really?
CECILY
Yes.
ALGERNON
But we have never met before today.
CECILY
That is true.
ALGERNON
Then how could you be interested in me?
CECILY
Because of your reputation.
ALGERNON
My reputation is very bad.
CECILY
Yes, but it is very romantic.
ALGERNON
You think so?
CECILY
Of course.
She sits at the table.
CECILY
I have even written about you in my diary.
ALGERNON
Written about me?
CECILY
Yes.
She opens the diary and reads.
CECILY
“Today I met Uncle Jack’s brother Ernest for the first time. He is very charming.”
Algernon laughs softly.
ALGERNON
But we met only a few minutes ago.
CECILY
Yes, but I wrote that yesterday.
ALGERNON
Yesterday?
CECILY
I like to write about events before they happen.
ALGERNON
That is a wonderful system.
CECILY
It makes life much more interesting.
She closes the diary.
CECILY
Mr. Ernest Worthing, do you truly wish to improve your life?
ALGERNON
Very much.
CECILY
Then you must behave better.
ALGERNON
I will try.
CECILY
Perhaps I can help you.
ALGERNON
I would be grateful.
CECILY
First, you must not be so wicked.
ALGERNON
I promise.
CECILY
Second, you must stay here for a while.
ALGERNON
I would like that very much.
They smile at each other.
CECILY
You see, I have always imagined that we would become friends.
ALGERNON
Friends?
CECILY
Yes.
She hesitates slightly.
CECILY
Or perhaps something more.
Algernon looks at her warmly.
ALGERNON
Miss Cardew, may I tell you something?
CECILY
Yes.
ALGERNON
From the moment I saw you, I admired you greatly.
CECILY
Did you?
ALGERNON
Yes.
CECILY
That is very nice.
ALGERNON
I think you are the most charming girl I have ever met.
Cecily blushes slightly.
CECILY
That is exactly what I hoped you would say.
They sit together under the tree.
ALGERNON
Miss Cardew—
CECILY
Please call me Cecily.
ALGERNON
Cecily.
CECILY
Yes?
ALGERNON
I think I love you.
CECILY
Of course you do.
ALGERNON
Of course?
CECILY
Yes.
She opens her diary again.
CECILY
You proposed to me yesterday.
ALGERNON
Yesterday?
CECILY
Yes.
She reads.
CECILY
“Ernest asked me to marry him. I accepted at once.”
Algernon looks amused.
ALGERNON
Then we are already engaged?
CECILY
Yes.
ALGERNON
That was very quick.
CECILY
Love is always quick.
Algernon smiles.
ALGERNON
Cecily, you are wonderful.
Just then Merriman appears again.
MERRIMAN
Miss Cardew.
CECILY
Yes, Merriman?
MERRIMAN
Mr. Worthing has returned.
CECILY
Uncle Jack?
MERRIMAN
Yes, Miss.
Cecily looks surprised.
CECILY
But Uncle Jack was not expected until evening.
MERRIMAN
He arrived suddenly.
CECILY
Where is he?
MERRIMAN
He is coming through the garden now.
Cecily stands.
CECILY
This will be interesting.
Algernon looks slightly worried.
ALGERNON
Very interesting.
Part 5
Act II (continued)
The garden path leads from the house.
Jack enters slowly. He wears black clothes and a black hat. His face looks serious.
Cecily sees him first.
CECILY
Uncle Jack!
JACK
My dear Cecily.
He embraces her kindly.
JACK
I have returned earlier than expected.
CECILY
Yes, Merriman told me.
She looks at his clothes.
CECILY
Why are you dressed in black?
JACK
I bring very sad news.
CECILY
Sad news?
JACK
Yes.
He pauses.
JACK
My poor brother Ernest is dead.
Cecily looks surprised but not deeply upset.
CECILY
Dead?
JACK
Yes. He died suddenly in Paris.
CECILY
What happened?
JACK
A severe chill.
CECILY
How unfortunate.
JACK
Yes. His life was very troubled.
CECILY
I am sorry to hear it.
Jack sighs heavily.
JACK
We must now forget him and continue our lives.
CECILY
That may be difficult.
JACK
Why?
CECILY
Because he is here.
Jack turns quickly.
JACK
Here?
Cecily points calmly across the garden.
Algernon stands near the table.
Jack stares at him in complete shock.
JACK
Algernon!
ALGERNON
My dear Ernest—no, I mean Jack.
JACK
What are you doing here?
ALGERNON
Visiting your charming ward.
JACK
You are pretending to be my brother.
ALGERNON
Yes.
JACK
But I have just announced that you are dead.
ALGERNON
That is very inconvenient.
JACK
You must leave at once.
ALGERNON
I cannot.
JACK
Why not?
ALGERNON
Because I am engaged to Cecily.
Jack looks even more shocked.
JACK
Engaged?
CECILY
Yes, Uncle Jack.
JACK
Impossible.
CECILY
We became engaged yesterday.
JACK
Yesterday?
CECILY
Yes.
Jack looks from Cecily to Algernon.
JACK
Algernon, this is outrageous.
ALGERNON
On the contrary, it is very romantic.
JACK
You must end this nonsense immediately.
ALGERNON
I cannot.
JACK
Why not?
ALGERNON
Because I love Cecily.
Cecily smiles.
CECILY
And I love Ernest.
JACK
His name is not Ernest.
CECILY
Of course it is.
JACK
No, it is not.
ALGERNON
Jack, please.
JACK
Algernon Moncrieff!
Cecily looks confused.
CECILY
Algernon?
ALGERNON
Yes.
CECILY
Then your name is not Ernest?
ALGERNON
Not exactly.
CECILY
Oh.
She pauses.
CECILY
That is disappointing.
ALGERNON
But I can easily change my name.
CECILY
Really?
ALGERNON
Yes. I plan to be christened.
CECILY
That is wonderful.
JACK
This is absurd.
He turns to Algernon angrily.
JACK
You have deceived my ward.
ALGERNON
You deceived everyone first.
JACK
That is different.
ALGERNON
Not at all.
Jack sighs with frustration.
JACK
This situation must end.
CECILY
But Uncle Jack—
JACK
Cecily, I forbid this engagement.
CECILY
You forbid it?
JACK
Yes.
CECILY
Why?
JACK
Because Algernon is extremely unreliable.
ALGERNON
I object strongly.
CECILY
Uncle Jack, you must allow me to make my own decision.
JACK
You are too young.
CECILY
I am quite capable of understanding my feelings.
Jack shakes his head.
JACK
No. I cannot permit it.
Cecily looks hurt.
CECILY
This is very unfair.
At that moment Merriman enters again.
MERRIMAN
Mr. Worthing.
JACK
Yes?
MERRIMAN
A young lady has arrived.
JACK
A young lady?
MERRIMAN
Yes, sir.
JACK
What is her name?
MERRIMAN
Miss Fairfax.
Jack freezes.
JACK
Gwendolen?
MERRIMAN
Yes, sir.
Cecily looks interested.
CECILY
Miss Fairfax?
JACK
Oh dear.
ALGERNON
This becomes more interesting every minute.
Cecily turns to Merriman.
CECILY
Please show Miss Fairfax into the garden.
MERRIMAN
Yes, Miss.
Merriman leaves.
JACK
This is a disaster.
ALGERNON
Not necessarily.
JACK
Gwendolen believes my name is Ernest.
ALGERNON
So does Cecily.
JACK
Exactly.
ALGERNON
Then we must be careful.
JACK
Very careful.
A moment later Gwendolen enters the garden.
She walks with calm confidence.
GWENDOLEN
Mr. Worthing!
JACK
Gwendolen!
They move toward each other.
GWENDOLEN
I could not remain in London. I felt that I must see you again.
JACK
That was very brave.
GWENDOLEN
My love gives me courage.
She notices Cecily.
GWENDOLEN
And who is this charming young lady?
CECILY
My name is Cecily Cardew.
GWENDOLEN
Miss Cardew, I am pleased to meet you.
CECILY
And I am pleased to meet you.
They smile politely.
GWENDOLEN
Mr. Worthing has spoken of you.
CECILY
Uncle Jack is very kind.
GWENDOLEN
Uncle Jack?
Cecily nods.
CECILY
Yes. Mr. Worthing is my guardian.
Gwendolen looks surprised.
GWENDOLEN
Your guardian?
CECILY
Yes.
GWENDOLEN
How interesting.
Cecily studies Gwendolen carefully.
CECILY
Miss Fairfax, may I ask you a question?
GWENDOLEN
Certainly.
CECILY
Are you engaged?
GWENDOLEN
Yes.
CECILY
To whom?
GWENDOLEN
To Ernest Worthing.
Cecily smiles calmly.
CECILY
How curious.
GWENDOLEN
Why curious?
CECILY
Because I am also engaged to Ernest Worthing.
Silence fills the garden.
Part 6
Act II (continued)
Silence fills the garden.
Gwendolen and Cecily look at each other carefully.
Jack and Algernon stand behind them with great anxiety.
GWENDOLEN
I beg your pardon?
CECILY
I said that I am engaged to Ernest Worthing.
GWENDOLEN
That is impossible.
CECILY
I assure you it is quite true.
GWENDOLEN
Mr. Worthing proposed to me yesterday afternoon in London.
CECILY
Mr. Ernest Worthing proposed to me yesterday afternoon in the garden.
GWENDOLEN
Then there must be some misunderstanding.
CECILY
Perhaps.
They smile politely, but the smiles are cold.
CECILY
Will you sit down, Miss Fairfax?
GWENDOLEN
Thank you.
They sit at the small table.
Cecily rings a small bell.
Merriman enters.
CECILY
Merriman, please bring tea.
MERRIMAN
Yes, Miss.
He leaves.
GWENDOLEN
Miss Cardew, may I ask how long you have been engaged to Mr. Ernest Worthing?
CECILY
For some time.
GWENDOLEN
Indeed?
CECILY
Yes.
She opens her diary calmly.
CECILY
According to my diary, we became engaged three months ago.
GWENDOLEN
Three months ago?
CECILY
Yes.
GWENDOLEN
That seems quite impossible.
CECILY
Why?
GWENDOLEN
Because Mr. Worthing has been engaged to me since yesterday.
CECILY
That is rather late.
GWENDOLEN
I think you must be mistaken.
CECILY
I rarely make mistakes.
They look at each other again.
GWENDOLEN
Miss Cardew, I feel it my duty to tell you that there is no possibility of your engagement to Mr. Worthing.
CECILY
I am afraid the same is true of yours.
GWENDOLEN
Excuse me?
CECILY
Mr. Ernest Worthing is my fiancé.
GWENDOLEN
He is mine.
Their voices become sharper.
GWENDOLEN
Miss Cardew, I do not wish to be unpleasant.
CECILY
Nor do I.
GWENDOLEN
But the facts are quite clear.
CECILY
Yes, they are.
GWENDOLEN
Mr. Worthing loves me.
CECILY
He loves me.
GWENDOLEN
You are mistaken.
CECILY
I am not.
At that moment Merriman returns with tea.
MERRIMAN
Tea, Miss.
CECILY
Thank you.
He places the tray on the table and leaves.
Cecily pours tea slowly.
CECILY
Sugar?
GWENDOLEN
No, thank you.
Cecily calmly puts four lumps of sugar into Gwendolen’s cup.
GWENDOLEN
Miss Cardew, I said no sugar.
CECILY
Yes, but sugar is sweet.
GWENDOLEN
I prefer no sugar.
CECILY
Very well.
She then pours tea for herself.
GWENDOLEN
Bread and butter, please.
CECILY
Certainly.
She gives Gwendolen a large slice of cake instead.
GWENDOLEN
I asked for bread and butter.
CECILY
Cake is more suitable for the afternoon.
GWENDOLEN
Thank you.
They eat in silence.
Finally Gwendolen speaks again.
GWENDOLEN
Miss Cardew, I wish to ask you one more question.
CECILY
Please do.
GWENDOLEN
What is the name of your fiancé?
CECILY
Ernest.
GWENDOLEN
Of course.
CECILY
I could never love anyone whose name was not Ernest.
GWENDOLEN
Nor could I.
They both look satisfied for a moment.
Then Gwendolen turns suddenly toward Jack.
GWENDOLEN
Mr. Worthing!
JACK
Yes, Gwendolen?
GWENDOLEN
What is your Christian name?
Jack hesitates.
JACK
Jack.
GWENDOLEN
Jack?
CECILY
Jack?
Both women stare at him.
GWENDOLEN
Your name is not Ernest?
JACK
Well—
CECILY
Uncle Jack!
GWENDOLEN
Explain yourself immediately.
Jack looks extremely uncomfortable.
JACK
The truth is… my name is Jack.
Cecily turns to Algernon.
CECILY
Then what is your name?
ALGERNON
Algernon.
CECILY
Algernon!
GWENDOLEN
Then neither of you is named Ernest?
ALGERNON
No.
GWENDOLEN
This is perfectly absurd.
CECILY
It is extremely disappointing.
Both women stand up angrily.
GWENDOLEN
You have deceived us.
CECILY
Both of you.
GWENDOLEN
I am very angry.
CECILY
So am I.
GWENDOLEN
I could not possibly forgive you.
CECILY
Nor could I.
They walk away together.
Jack and Algernon remain alone.
JACK
You have ruined everything.
ALGERNON
You did the same.
JACK
My engagement is broken.
ALGERNON
Mine as well.
They sit heavily in the chairs.
ALGERNON
What shall we do?
JACK
We must be christened at once.
ALGERNON
An excellent idea.
JACK
If we become Ernest, everything will be solved.
ALGERNON
Yes.
JACK
Dr. Chasuble can perform the ceremony this afternoon.
ALGERNON
Perfect.
They stand.
ALGERNON
Let us go and find him.
JACK
At once.
They leave the garden together.
The garden becomes quiet again.
Part 7
Act III
Drawing-room at the Manor House, Woolton.
The room is elegant and quiet. A writing table stands near the window. Flowers decorate the room.
Gwendolen and Cecily sit together. Their anger has begun to soften.
CECILY
Miss Fairfax, I feel that I must apologize for the way I behaved.
GWENDOLEN
Miss Cardew, I must apologize also.
CECILY
It was not very polite of me to put sugar in your tea.
GWENDOLEN
And it was not polite of me to criticize your cake.
CECILY
We were both very upset.
GWENDOLEN
Yes.
They smile a little.
CECILY
The men behaved very badly.
GWENDOLEN
Very badly indeed.
CECILY
Still, I think they were not entirely wicked.
GWENDOLEN
No.
CECILY
They simply wished to be named Ernest.
GWENDOLEN
Which shows that they understand the importance of the name.
CECILY
Exactly.
They laugh softly.
Just then Jack enters the room.
JACK
Gwendolen.
GWENDOLEN
Mr. Worthing.
CECILY
Uncle Jack.
JACK
I have something important to say.
GWENDOLEN
Yes?
JACK
I have decided to be christened this afternoon.
CECILY
Christened?
JACK
Yes.
GWENDOLEN
Why?
JACK
Because I wish to be worthy of your affection.
GWENDOLEN
That is very admirable.
CECILY
It is a very good idea.
At that moment Algernon enters.
ALGERNON
Good afternoon.
CECILY
Mr. Moncrieff.
GWENDOLEN
Algernon.
ALGERNON
I also intend to be christened this afternoon.
CECILY
How wonderful.
ALGERNON
I feel that it is my duty.
JACK
Your duty?
ALGERNON
Yes.
JACK
This is absurd.
ALGERNON
Not at all.
JACK
I told you about the christening first.
ALGERNON
That does not matter.
JACK
It matters very much.
They begin to argue.
GWENDOLEN
Please do not quarrel.
CECILY
Yes, it is not pleasant.
At that moment Merriman enters.
MERRIMAN
Lady Bracknell has arrived.
Everyone is surprised.
JACK
Lady Bracknell?
GWENDOLEN
Mama!
Lady Bracknell enters the room with great dignity.
LADY BRACKNELL
Good afternoon.
GWENDOLEN
Mama, what brings you here?
LADY BRACKNELL
I have come to check on my daughter.
She looks around the room.
Then she sees Cecily.
LADY BRACKNELL
And who is this young lady?
CECILY
My name is Cecily Cardew.
LADY BRACKNELL
Cardew?
JACK
Cecily is my ward.
LADY BRACKNELL
Indeed.
She studies Cecily carefully.
LADY BRACKNELL
Miss Cardew, are you wealthy?
CECILY
I have a small fortune.
LADY BRACKNELL
How small?
CECILY
About one hundred and thirty thousand pounds.
Lady Bracknell suddenly becomes very pleased.
LADY BRACKNELL
A very suitable amount.
She turns to Algernon.
LADY BRACKNELL
Algernon, I believe you know Miss Cardew.
ALGERNON
Yes, Aunt Augusta.
LADY BRACKNELL
You are fond of her?
ALGERNON
Very fond.
LADY BRACKNELL
Then you may marry her.
CECILY
Thank you, Lady Bracknell.
ALGERNON
Thank you, Aunt Augusta.
Jack looks shocked.
JACK
Excuse me.
LADY BRACKNELL
Yes, Mr. Worthing?
JACK
Cecily is my ward.
LADY BRACKNELL
Indeed.
JACK
And I refuse to allow her to marry Algernon.
ALGERNON
What?
CECILY
Uncle Jack!
LADY BRACKNELL
You refuse?
JACK
Yes.
LADY BRACKNELL
May I ask why?
JACK
Because Lady Bracknell refuses to allow me to marry Gwendolen.
Lady Bracknell pauses.
LADY BRACKNELL
This is extremely inconvenient.
JACK
I agree.
LADY BRACKNELL
Mr. Worthing, you must understand that my daughter cannot marry someone who was found in a handbag.
JACK
Until that matter is solved, I cannot approve Algernon’s marriage.
LADY BRACKNELL
This is very unreasonable.
JACK
Perhaps.
LADY BRACKNELL
The situation must be clarified.
She turns to Merriman.
LADY BRACKNELL
Send for Miss Prism.
MERRIMAN
Yes, madam.
He leaves.
CECILY
Miss Prism?
GWENDOLEN
Why Miss Prism?
LADY BRACKNELL
Miss Prism may be able to explain something important.
A few moments later Miss Prism enters nervously.
MISS PRISM
Lady Bracknell!
LADY BRACKNELL
Miss Prism.
Miss Prism looks frightened.
LADY BRACKNELL
I believe you once worked for my sister.
MISS PRISM
Yes, Lady Bracknell.
LADY BRACKNELL
And I believe you once lost a baby.
Miss Prism gasps.
MISS PRISM
Lady Bracknell!
LADY BRACKNELL
Please explain.
Miss Prism trembles.
MISS PRISM
It was many years ago.
LADY BRACKNELL
Go on.
MISS PRISM
I was responsible for a baby boy.
Everyone listens closely.
MISS PRISM
One day I placed the manuscript of a novel in a perambulator.
LADY BRACKNELL
Yes?
MISS PRISM
And I accidentally placed the baby in a handbag.
Shock fills the room.
MISS PRISM
I left the handbag at Victoria Station.
Jack suddenly becomes very excited.
JACK
Victoria Station?
MISS PRISM
Yes.
JACK
Was the handbag large and black?
MISS PRISM
Yes.
JACK
Then I must find it at once.
He rushes toward the door.
JACK
It is upstairs in my room.
He runs out of the room.
Everyone waits in silence.
Part 8
Act III (continued)
The room is silent. Everyone waits.
Lady Bracknell sits calmly in a chair. Gwendolen stands beside her. Cecily and Algernon whisper quietly.
Miss Prism looks extremely nervous.
After a moment Jack returns quickly. He carries a large black handbag.
JACK
Is this the handbag?
Miss Prism looks at it with fear.
MISS PRISM
Yes.
LADY BRACKNELL
Are you quite certain?
MISS PRISM
Yes, Lady Bracknell.
JACK
Then this explains everything.
LADY BRACKNELL
Indeed.
Jack places the handbag on the table.
JACK
I was the baby in this handbag.
Everyone looks at him.
GWENDOLEN
You?
CECILY
Uncle Jack?
JACK
Yes.
He turns to Miss Prism.
JACK
You left me in the cloakroom at Victoria Station.
MISS PRISM
I deeply regret the mistake.
JACK
Fortunately I was discovered by a kind gentleman.
LADY BRACKNELL
Who was that gentleman?
JACK
Mr. Thomas Cardew.
CECILY
My grandfather!
JACK
Yes.
CECILY
Then you are not really my uncle.
JACK
No.
CECILY
You are my older brother!
JACK
Exactly.
Cecily smiles with delight.
CECILY
How wonderful!
Jack turns to Lady Bracknell.
JACK
Now that my origin is known, I hope you will allow me to marry Gwendolen.
Lady Bracknell thinks carefully.
LADY BRACKNELL
There is still one question.
JACK
What question?
LADY BRACKNELL
Who were your parents?
JACK
I was a baby in a handbag.
LADY BRACKNELL
Yes, but whose baby?
She turns slowly toward Miss Prism.
LADY BRACKNELL
Miss Prism, whose child was the baby you lost?
MISS PRISM
It was the child of your sister.
Lady Bracknell rises suddenly.
LADY BRACKNELL
My sister!
MISS PRISM
Yes.
LADY BRACKNELL
Then the child was the younger son of General Moncrieff.
Miss Prism nods nervously.
MISS PRISM
Yes.
Algernon suddenly jumps up.
ALGERNON
General Moncrieff was my father!
LADY BRACKNELL
Exactly.
She looks proudly at Jack.
LADY BRACKNELL
Mr. Worthing, you are the elder son of General Moncrieff.
Jack looks astonished.
JACK
Then Algernon is my younger brother.
ALGERNON
My dear brother!
They shake hands warmly.
CECILY
This is delightful.
GWENDOLEN
Yes, it is.
Jack turns again to Lady Bracknell.
JACK
Now that my family is known, may I marry Gwendolen?
LADY BRACKNELL
Certainly.
GWENDOLEN
At last!
She moves happily toward Jack.
GWENDOLEN
My dear Ernest.
Jack hesitates.
JACK
Gwendolen, I must tell you something.
GWENDOLEN
Yes?
JACK
My name is not Ernest.
GWENDOLEN
Not Ernest?
JACK
No.
He looks at Lady Bracknell.
JACK
Aunt Augusta, what was the name of General Moncrieff’s eldest son?
LADY BRACKNELL
The eldest son was named Ernest.
Jack becomes very still.
JACK
Ernest?
LADY BRACKNELL
Yes.
Jack smiles slowly.
JACK
Then I have always been Ernest.
GWENDOLEN
Of course you have.
CECILY
How perfect!
ALGERNON
My dear Ernest, I congratulate you.
Jack turns to Gwendolen.
JACK
Gwendolen, it seems that I have been telling the truth all my life.
GWENDOLEN
I always believed you.
Jack smiles with quiet happiness.
JACK
Now I understand, for the first time in my life, the importance of being Earnest.