=============== AI-Generated Graded Readers Masaru Uchida, Gifu University Publication webpage: https://www1.gifu-u.ac.jp/~masaru/a1/ai-generated_graded_readers.html Publication date: March 16, 2026 About This Edition This book is a simplified English adaptation created for extensive reading practice. The text was generated using ChatGPT and prepared for intermediate English learners as part of an educational project. Target reading level: CEFR A2-B1 This edition aims to support fluency development through accessible vocabulary, expanded narration, and improved readability while preserving the original story structure. Source Text Original work: The Importance of Being Earnest: A Trivial Comedy for Serious People Author: Oscar Wilde Source: Project Gutenberg https://www.gutenberg.org/ Full text available at: https://www.gutenberg.org/cache/epub/844/pg844.txt The original text is in the public domain. Copyright and Use This simplified edition is intended for educational and non-commercial use only. The source text is provided by Project Gutenberg under its public domain policy. Users should refer to the Project Gutenberg License for full terms: https://www.gutenberg.org/policy/license.html This adaptation was generated with the assistance of artificial intelligence and edited for readability and educational purposes. Disclaimer This edition is an educational adaptation and is not affiliated with or endorsed by Project Gutenberg. =============== Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest: A Trivial Comedy for Serious People (Simplified Edition, Adapted and Simplified by ChatGPT) Dramatis Personae John Worthing, J.P. Algernon Moncrieff Rev. Canon Chasuble, D.D. Merriman, Butler Lane, Manservant Lady Bracknell Hon. Gwendolen Fairfax Cecily Cardew Miss Prism, Governess Part 1 Act I Algernon Moncrieff’s Flat in Half-Moon Street, London. Lane and Algernon are in the room. The room is comfortable and rich. There are flowers on the table. Tea things stand ready. Algernon sits at the piano and plays softly. Lane stands near the table and prepares the tea. ALGERNON Lane, did you hear what I was playing just now? LANE I did not think it polite to listen, sir. ALGERNON That is very thoughtful of you, Lane. I do not play well enough for people to listen to me. Anyone can play well. But to play badly with feeling—that is rare. LANE Yes, sir. ALGERNON And now, Lane, about the sandwiches. Why are there so few cucumber sandwiches? I ordered many for Lady Bracknell. LANE There were many sandwiches when I left the kitchen, sir. ALGERNON Very strange. I see only two or three now. LANE Yes, sir. ALGERNON Lane, did you eat the cucumber sandwiches? LANE I believe I did eat some of them, sir. ALGERNON All of them, I think. LANE Yes, sir. ALGERNON Well, Lane, it does not matter. Lady Bracknell will soon arrive, and she will certainly be angry. LANE Yes, sir. A bell rings. LANE Mr. Ernest Worthing. Lane leaves. Jack Worthing enters. Jack is dressed well, but he looks a little nervous. ALGERNON How are you, my dear Ernest? What brings you to town? JACK My dear Algy, please do not call me Ernest. My name is Jack. ALGERNON But you always tell everyone that your name is Ernest. JACK That is true—in town. ALGERNON Then what is your name in the country? JACK Jack. ALGERNON That is very confusing. You seem to have two lives. JACK Yes. When one lives in the country, one must behave well. When one lives in town, one may enjoy life. ALGERNON So in the country you are serious Jack, and in town you are the pleasant Ernest. JACK Exactly. ALGERNON I like that very much. It is what I call Bunburying. JACK Bunburying? ALGERNON Yes. It means having a useful excuse for going somewhere else. JACK You always have strange ideas, Algy. ALGERNON Not strange—necessary. Modern life is impossible without them. Jack sits down. ALGERNON Tell me, why have you come to town today? JACK I have come to propose to Gwendolen. ALGERNON My cousin Gwendolen? JACK Yes. ALGERNON That is serious news. JACK I hope she will accept me. ALGERNON I think she will. But you must ask her mother first. JACK Lady Bracknell? ALGERNON Yes. JACK That may be difficult. ALGERNON Very difficult. Algernon suddenly sees Jack’s cigarette case on the table. ALGERNON What is this? JACK My cigarette case. ALGERNON May I look at it? JACK Of course. Algernon opens the case and reads the writing inside. ALGERNON Interesting. JACK What is interesting? ALGERNON This message. He reads. ALGERNON “To my dear Uncle Jack, from little Cecily, with her fondest love.” He looks at Jack carefully. ALGERNON Now explain this. JACK It is nothing important. ALGERNON Who is Cecily? JACK She is my ward. ALGERNON Then why does she call you Uncle Jack if your name is Ernest? Jack hesitates. ALGERNON Now I understand. You have invented a younger brother called Ernest. JACK Yes. ALGERNON You are very clever. JACK It was necessary. ALGERNON Why? JACK Because when I am in the country I must behave very well. I am responsible for Cecily. But sometimes I want to come to London and enjoy myself. ALGERNON So you say that your brother Ernest is always in trouble in London. JACK Yes. ALGERNON And when Ernest is in trouble, you must come to London to help him. JACK Exactly. ALGERNON That is Bunburying. JACK No, it is not. ALGERNON Of course it is. Jack laughs a little but looks uneasy. ALGERNON My dear Jack, you have created a very useful brother. JACK But I will soon end this story. ALGERNON Why? JACK Because I am going to marry Gwendolen. ALGERNON Marriage ends many pleasant things. JACK Not this one. ALGERNON You will tell Gwendolen the truth? JACK No. She loves the name Ernest. ALGERNON She loves the name? JACK Yes. She says it inspires confidence. ALGERNON Women are very strange about names. JACK So I must keep the name Ernest. ALGERNON Then your double life will continue. JACK No. I will kill my brother Ernest. ALGERNON Kill him? JACK Yes. When I return to the country, I will announce that my brother Ernest has died. ALGERNON That is very dramatic. JACK It is the only solution. Algernon laughs. ALGERNON My dear Jack, you are one of the greatest Bunburyists I have ever known. A bell rings again. LANE enters. LANE Lady Bracknell and Miss Fairfax. ALGERNON Show them in. Lane leaves. Jack quickly moves toward the door. JACK I must speak to Gwendolen alone. ALGERNON You will have your chance soon. Jack straightens his coat and waits nervously. Lady Bracknell and Gwendolen enter. Lady Bracknell is large and dignified. Gwendolen is elegant and confident. GWENDOLEN Good afternoon, Algernon. ALGERNON My dear Gwendolen. Lady Bracknell looks around the room. LADY BRACKNELL Algernon, I hope you have prepared the tea. ALGERNON Yes, Aunt Augusta. Gwendolen suddenly notices Jack. GWENDOLEN Mr. Worthing! JACK Miss Fairfax. They smile warmly at each other. Lady Bracknell sits at the table. LADY BRACKNELL Algernon, you may take me to the dining room. I wish to speak to you about something important. ALGERNON Of course, Aunt Augusta. Algernon stands. Lady Bracknell rises. She turns to Gwendolen. LADY BRACKNELL You may remain here, Gwendolen. She turns again to Algernon. LADY BRACKNELL But do not eat the sandwiches before I return. ALGERNON Certainly not. Lady Bracknell and Algernon leave the room. Jack and Gwendolen are now alone. Jack moves closer to her. JACK Miss Fairfax, ever since I met you, I have admired you more than any woman in the world. GWENDOLEN I have always felt that you were destined to say something like this. JACK Gwendolen— GWENDOLEN Yes, Mr. Worthing? JACK Will you marry me? GWENDOLEN Of course I will. Jack looks very happy. JACK My darling! GWENDOLEN But I must tell you something. JACK Anything. GWENDOLEN I have always wished to love someone named Ernest. Jack freezes slightly. GWENDOLEN The name Ernest inspires absolute trust. JACK Does it? GWENDOLEN Yes. I cannot imagine loving anyone whose name is not Ernest. Jack smiles nervously. JACK My name is Ernest. GWENDOLEN I know. She smiles warmly. GWENDOLEN That is why I love you. Part 2 Act I (continued) The room is quiet. Jack and Gwendolen stand near the window. GWENDOLEN From the first moment I saw you, I felt that your name must be Ernest. JACK Did you really? GWENDOLEN Yes. It was a divine instinct. JACK That is very interesting. GWENDOLEN If your name had been something else—something ordinary—I do not think I could have loved you. JACK Really? GWENDOLEN For example, the name Jack. Jack becomes slightly uncomfortable. GWENDOLEN There is something weak about the name Jack. It has no music in it. Ernest is much stronger. JACK Yes… much stronger. GWENDOLEN It expresses truth and honor. JACK Indeed. GWENDOLEN So when you asked me to marry you, I felt certain that it must be right. JACK You make me very happy. GWENDOLEN And you must promise me one thing. JACK Anything. GWENDOLEN You must always be Ernest. JACK I promise. They move closer together. JACK May I kiss you? GWENDOLEN Certainly. Just as Jack moves toward her, the door opens. Lady Bracknell enters suddenly. Jack steps back at once. LADY BRACKNELL Gwendolen! GWENDOLEN Mama! LADY BRACKNELL What is the meaning of this? GWENDOLEN Mama, I am engaged to Mr. Worthing. Lady Bracknell looks shocked. LADY BRACKNELL Pardon me? GWENDOLEN Mr. Worthing has proposed to me. LADY BRACKNELL Gwendolen, leave the room. GWENDOLEN Mama— LADY BRACKNELL At once. Gwendolen looks at Jack. GWENDOLEN You may speak to Mama. I am sure she will understand. She leaves the room. Lady Bracknell sits in a large chair and looks at Jack very carefully. LADY BRACKNELL Mr. Worthing, I feel bound to tell you that you are not on my list of eligible young men. JACK I am sorry to hear that. LADY BRACKNELL What is your income? JACK Between seven and eight thousand a year. Lady Bracknell looks pleased. LADY BRACKNELL That is satisfactory. She opens a small notebook. LADY BRACKNELL Now I will ask you a few questions. JACK Certainly. LADY BRACKNELL Are your parents living? JACK I have lost both my parents. LADY BRACKNELL To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune. To lose both looks like carelessness. JACK I assure you it was not my fault. LADY BRACKNELL Who were your parents? Jack hesitates. JACK I do not actually know. Lady Bracknell stops writing. LADY BRACKNELL You do not know? JACK No. LADY BRACKNELL That is extremely unusual. JACK I was found. LADY BRACKNELL Found? JACK Yes. LADY BRACKNELL Where? JACK In a handbag. Lady Bracknell looks completely shocked. LADY BRACKNELL A handbag? JACK Yes. LADY BRACKNELL Where was this handbag found? JACK At Victoria Station. LADY BRACKNELL The Brighton line? JACK Yes. LADY BRACKNELL In what part of the station? JACK In the cloakroom. Lady Bracknell rises slowly. LADY BRACKNELL Mr. Worthing, I must say that I consider this matter extremely serious. JACK I understand. LADY BRACKNELL To be born—or at least found—in a handbag is a serious social error. JACK I regret the situation deeply. LADY BRACKNELL The handbag, I presume, had some mark of identity? JACK No. LADY BRACKNELL Then the whole matter is quite impossible. JACK But surely— LADY BRACKNELL Mr. Worthing, I cannot allow my daughter to marry into a cloakroom. JACK I will try to find my parents. LADY BRACKNELL Do so. JACK I will search everywhere. LADY BRACKNELL Until then, the engagement is entirely out of the question. Jack looks very upset. LADY BRACKNELL Good afternoon, Mr. Worthing. She moves toward the door. Just then Gwendolen returns quickly. GWENDOLEN Mama, I must speak to you. LADY BRACKNELL You already know my decision. GWENDOLEN But I am engaged. LADY BRACKNELL You are not engaged. GWENDOLEN I am. LADY BRACKNELL You are not. GWENDOLEN Mama, I love him. LADY BRACKNELL You will forget him. GWENDOLEN Never. LADY BRACKNELL You must come with me. She takes Gwendolen firmly by the arm. GWENDOLEN Mr. Worthing! JACK Miss Fairfax! GWENDOLEN Remember this. My ideal has always been to love someone named Ernest. JACK Yes. GWENDOLEN And I will love you always. LADY BRACKNELL Come, Gwendolen. Lady Bracknell leads her out of the room. Jack stands alone for a moment. Then Algernon enters from the dining room. ALGERNON Well, my dear Ernest, how did the proposal go? JACK Lady Bracknell has refused the marriage. ALGERNON That is not surprising. JACK She asked many questions. ALGERNON She always does. JACK And she discovered that I was found in a handbag. Algernon laughs loudly. ALGERNON A handbag! JACK Yes. ALGERNON That explains everything. JACK Everything? ALGERNON Why you live a double life. JACK This is serious. ALGERNON Very serious—and very amusing. Jack walks around the room. JACK I must end my double life at once. ALGERNON How? JACK I will return to the country tomorrow. ALGERNON And then? JACK I will announce that my brother Ernest has died. ALGERNON Killed by what? JACK A severe chill. ALGERNON Very tragic. JACK Then I will live honestly as Jack Worthing. Algernon looks thoughtful. ALGERNON Where exactly is your country house? JACK In Hertfordshire. ALGERNON And you live there with your ward Cecily? JACK Yes. ALGERNON She must be charming. JACK She is a very sweet girl. ALGERNON I would like to meet her. JACK You never will. ALGERNON Why not? JACK Because you are not invited. Algernon smiles quietly. ALGERNON My dear Ernest, nothing is easier than visiting a country house. JACK I will not allow it. ALGERNON We shall see. Jack picks up his hat. JACK Goodbye, Algy. I must return home and prepare for my brother’s death. ALGERNON Safe journey. Jack leaves. Algernon stands alone in the room. He picks up the cigarette case again. ALGERNON Cecily Cardew. He smiles slowly. ALGERNON I think I should visit the country. He rings the bell. Lane enters. ALGERNON Lane, bring me the railway guide. LANE Yes, sir. Algernon sits down with great satisfaction. Part 3 Act I (continued) Algernon sits at the table and looks through the railway guide. Lane stands quietly nearby. ALGERNON Lane, there are many trains to Hertfordshire. LANE Yes, sir. ALGERNON It is a very convenient county. LANE Indeed, sir. ALGERNON One may easily go there in the afternoon and return to London in the evening. LANE Quite so, sir. Algernon closes the railway guide and smiles. ALGERNON Lane, I believe I shall go to the country tomorrow. LANE Very good, sir. ALGERNON It is always pleasant to visit friends in the country. LANE Yes, sir. ALGERNON Even when they have not invited you. LANE That also happens, sir. Algernon stands and walks slowly around the room. ALGERNON Lane, have you ever invented an imaginary friend? LANE No, sir. ALGERNON It is extremely useful. LANE I can imagine it would be, sir. ALGERNON My friend Bunbury, for example, is often ill. LANE That is unfortunate, sir. ALGERNON Yes. His health is very uncertain. Whenever I wish to escape from London, Bunbury suddenly becomes worse. LANE A most convenient illness, sir. ALGERNON Exactly. Lane begins to clear the table. ALGERNON Lane, you may go. LANE Yes, sir. Lane leaves the room. Algernon walks to the mirror and adjusts his coat. ALGERNON Cecily Cardew. He smiles. ALGERNON A charming name. He sits again and writes something on a small card. ALGERNON “Mr. Ernest Worthing.” He looks pleased with the name. ALGERNON Tomorrow I shall become Ernest. He laughs quietly. The curtain falls. Act II Garden at the Manor House, Woolton. A wide garden stretches behind the house. There are trees and flowers. A small table stands under a large tree. Books and papers lie on the table. Cecily Cardew sits at the table and writes in a diary. Miss Prism stands nearby with a book in her hand. CECILY Miss Prism, I wish Uncle Jack would allow his brother Ernest to visit us. MISS PRISM I do not think that would be wise, Cecily. CECILY But I am very curious about him. MISS PRISM Your uncle has often told you that his brother is a very wicked man. CECILY Yes. That is why I wish to meet him. MISS PRISM You must not encourage such thoughts. CECILY But wicked people are sometimes very interesting. MISS PRISM They are never interesting for long. Cecily closes her diary. CECILY Miss Prism, may I ask you a question? MISS PRISM Certainly, my dear. CECILY Why do people keep diaries? MISS PRISM To record their daily thoughts and actions. CECILY I write my diary before the events happen. MISS PRISM Before? CECILY Yes. It is much more interesting that way. Miss Prism looks slightly confused. MISS PRISM I am not sure that is the proper use of a diary. CECILY But it makes life more exciting. Miss Prism sighs gently. MISS PRISM Cecily, you must try to be serious. CECILY I am serious. She opens her diary again. CECILY For example, yesterday I recorded that I had a long conversation with Uncle Jack’s brother Ernest. MISS PRISM But you did not see him yesterday. CECILY No, but I may see him one day. MISS PRISM I hope not. CECILY Why not? MISS PRISM Because your uncle has warned you about him. CECILY Yes, but Uncle Jack always speaks very kindly about Ernest at the end of the story. MISS PRISM Your uncle is a very good man. CECILY He is very serious. MISS PRISM Seriousness is a virtue. CECILY It must be very dull. Miss Prism tries to hide a smile. MISS PRISM Cecily, we must now return to our studies. CECILY What shall we study today? MISS PRISM German grammar. CECILY German grammar is very difficult. MISS PRISM That is why we must study it. Cecily stands reluctantly. CECILY Miss Prism, do you think Uncle Jack will come home today? MISS PRISM He wrote that he would return this afternoon. CECILY And perhaps his brother Ernest will come with him. MISS PRISM I sincerely hope not. Just then the Reverend Canon Chasuble enters the garden. He carries a hat and a book. CHASUBLE Good afternoon, Miss Prism. MISS PRISM Good afternoon, Dr. Chasuble. CHASUBLE Good afternoon, Miss Cecily. CECILY Good afternoon, Dr. Chasuble. CHASUBLE I hope I am not interrupting your studies. MISS PRISM Not at all. CECILY We were about to begin German grammar. CHASUBLE Ah, German grammar is a very serious subject. CECILY Yes. That is why I do not like it. Chasuble smiles. CHASUBLE Miss Prism, I came to ask if you would join me for a short walk later this afternoon. Miss Prism looks pleased but tries to appear calm. MISS PRISM That would be most agreeable. CECILY Dr. Chasuble, may I ask you a question? CHASUBLE Of course, Miss Cecily. CECILY If someone wishes to be christened again, is that possible? Chasuble looks surprised. CHASUBLE Well… yes. Under certain circumstances. CECILY That is interesting. MISS PRISM Cecily, why do you ask such a question? CECILY I was simply curious. At that moment Merriman enters from the house. MERRIMAN Miss Cardew, a gentleman has arrived. CECILY A gentleman? MERRIMAN Yes, Miss. CECILY What is his name? MERRIMAN Mr. Ernest Worthing. Cecily jumps to her feet with excitement. CECILY Ernest! Miss Prism looks very alarmed. MISS PRISM Mr. Ernest Worthing? CECILY At last he has come. She turns quickly to Merriman. CECILY Please show him here at once. MERRIMAN Yes, Miss. Merriman leaves. Cecily looks delighted. CECILY Miss Prism, this is wonderful. MISS PRISM This is extremely unfortunate. CECILY I have waited so long to meet him. MISS PRISM Cecily, you must behave properly. CECILY Of course. But she cannot hide her excitement. A moment later Algernon enters. He is dressed elegantly and smiles charmingly. CECILY Mr. Ernest Worthing! ALGERNON Miss Cardew, I suppose? CECILY Yes. They look at each other with great curiosity. Part 4 Act II (continued) The garden is quiet. The afternoon sun shines through the trees. Cecily stands before Algernon with bright excitement. Miss Prism looks uneasy. ALGERNON Miss Cardew, I am very pleased to meet you. CECILY And I am very pleased to meet you. She studies him carefully. CECILY You are my Uncle Jack’s brother. ALGERNON Yes. CECILY You have been very naughty. ALGERNON I am afraid that is true. CECILY But you look much better than I expected. ALGERNON Thank you. CECILY Uncle Jack often speaks about your terrible behavior. ALGERNON I regret that deeply. CECILY But I have always been very interested in you. ALGERNON That is kind of you. Miss Prism steps forward. MISS PRISM Mr. Ernest Worthing, I must tell you that your presence here is quite unexpected. ALGERNON I apologize for arriving without notice. MISS PRISM Your brother has always warned us about you. ALGERNON My brother has a great imagination. CECILY Yes, Uncle Jack is very serious. ALGERNON Seriousness can be a great weakness. MISS PRISM Mr. Worthing, you must excuse us. Cecily and I were about to begin our studies. CECILY But Miss Prism— MISS PRISM Cecily. CECILY Very well. She turns politely to Algernon. CECILY Mr. Ernest Worthing, perhaps you will walk in the garden while we finish our lesson. ALGERNON With pleasure. MISS PRISM Come, Cecily. Miss Prism and Cecily move toward the house. But before they leave, Cecily turns again to Algernon. CECILY Mr. Ernest Worthing, I hope you will not disappear suddenly. ALGERNON I promise I will remain here. CECILY That makes me very happy. Miss Prism gently leads Cecily away. Algernon sits in a chair under the tree. ALGERNON What a charming girl. He looks around the garden. ALGERNON The country is very peaceful. He takes a small flower from the table. ALGERNON Much more peaceful than London. A short time later Cecily returns alone. She carries a small watering can. CECILY Mr. Ernest Worthing. ALGERNON Miss Cardew. CECILY Miss Prism has gone to walk with Dr. Chasuble. ALGERNON How fortunate. CECILY I thought you might like to see the garden. ALGERNON Very much. They walk slowly among the flowers. CECILY You have been very wicked, I hear. ALGERNON Yes. CECILY But I always hoped that you would become better. ALGERNON I am trying. CECILY That is good. They stop near the table. CECILY I must confess something to you. ALGERNON Please do. CECILY For a long time I have been very interested in you. ALGERNON Really? CECILY Yes. ALGERNON But we have never met before today. CECILY That is true. ALGERNON Then how could you be interested in me? CECILY Because of your reputation. ALGERNON My reputation is very bad. CECILY Yes, but it is very romantic. ALGERNON You think so? CECILY Of course. She sits at the table. CECILY I have even written about you in my diary. ALGERNON Written about me? CECILY Yes. She opens the diary and reads. CECILY “Today I met Uncle Jack’s brother Ernest for the first time. He is very charming.” Algernon laughs softly. ALGERNON But we met only a few minutes ago. CECILY Yes, but I wrote that yesterday. ALGERNON Yesterday? CECILY I like to write about events before they happen. ALGERNON That is a wonderful system. CECILY It makes life much more interesting. She closes the diary. CECILY Mr. Ernest Worthing, do you truly wish to improve your life? ALGERNON Very much. CECILY Then you must behave better. ALGERNON I will try. CECILY Perhaps I can help you. ALGERNON I would be grateful. CECILY First, you must not be so wicked. ALGERNON I promise. CECILY Second, you must stay here for a while. ALGERNON I would like that very much. They smile at each other. CECILY You see, I have always imagined that we would become friends. ALGERNON Friends? CECILY Yes. She hesitates slightly. CECILY Or perhaps something more. Algernon looks at her warmly. ALGERNON Miss Cardew, may I tell you something? CECILY Yes. ALGERNON From the moment I saw you, I admired you greatly. CECILY Did you? ALGERNON Yes. CECILY That is very nice. ALGERNON I think you are the most charming girl I have ever met. Cecily blushes slightly. CECILY That is exactly what I hoped you would say. They sit together under the tree. ALGERNON Miss Cardew— CECILY Please call me Cecily. ALGERNON Cecily. CECILY Yes? ALGERNON I think I love you. CECILY Of course you do. ALGERNON Of course? CECILY Yes. She opens her diary again. CECILY You proposed to me yesterday. ALGERNON Yesterday? CECILY Yes. She reads. CECILY “Ernest asked me to marry him. I accepted at once.” Algernon looks amused. ALGERNON Then we are already engaged? CECILY Yes. ALGERNON That was very quick. CECILY Love is always quick. Algernon smiles. ALGERNON Cecily, you are wonderful. Just then Merriman appears again. MERRIMAN Miss Cardew. CECILY Yes, Merriman? MERRIMAN Mr. Worthing has returned. CECILY Uncle Jack? MERRIMAN Yes, Miss. Cecily looks surprised. CECILY But Uncle Jack was not expected until evening. MERRIMAN He arrived suddenly. CECILY Where is he? MERRIMAN He is coming through the garden now. Cecily stands. CECILY This will be interesting. Algernon looks slightly worried. ALGERNON Very interesting. Part 5 Act II (continued) The garden path leads from the house. Jack enters slowly. He wears black clothes and a black hat. His face looks serious. Cecily sees him first. CECILY Uncle Jack! JACK My dear Cecily. He embraces her kindly. JACK I have returned earlier than expected. CECILY Yes, Merriman told me. She looks at his clothes. CECILY Why are you dressed in black? JACK I bring very sad news. CECILY Sad news? JACK Yes. He pauses. JACK My poor brother Ernest is dead. Cecily looks surprised but not deeply upset. CECILY Dead? JACK Yes. He died suddenly in Paris. CECILY What happened? JACK A severe chill. CECILY How unfortunate. JACK Yes. His life was very troubled. CECILY I am sorry to hear it. Jack sighs heavily. JACK We must now forget him and continue our lives. CECILY That may be difficult. JACK Why? CECILY Because he is here. Jack turns quickly. JACK Here? Cecily points calmly across the garden. Algernon stands near the table. Jack stares at him in complete shock. JACK Algernon! ALGERNON My dear Ernest—no, I mean Jack. JACK What are you doing here? ALGERNON Visiting your charming ward. JACK You are pretending to be my brother. ALGERNON Yes. JACK But I have just announced that you are dead. ALGERNON That is very inconvenient. JACK You must leave at once. ALGERNON I cannot. JACK Why not? ALGERNON Because I am engaged to Cecily. Jack looks even more shocked. JACK Engaged? CECILY Yes, Uncle Jack. JACK Impossible. CECILY We became engaged yesterday. JACK Yesterday? CECILY Yes. Jack looks from Cecily to Algernon. JACK Algernon, this is outrageous. ALGERNON On the contrary, it is very romantic. JACK You must end this nonsense immediately. ALGERNON I cannot. JACK Why not? ALGERNON Because I love Cecily. Cecily smiles. CECILY And I love Ernest. JACK His name is not Ernest. CECILY Of course it is. JACK No, it is not. ALGERNON Jack, please. JACK Algernon Moncrieff! Cecily looks confused. CECILY Algernon? ALGERNON Yes. CECILY Then your name is not Ernest? ALGERNON Not exactly. CECILY Oh. She pauses. CECILY That is disappointing. ALGERNON But I can easily change my name. CECILY Really? ALGERNON Yes. I plan to be christened. CECILY That is wonderful. JACK This is absurd. He turns to Algernon angrily. JACK You have deceived my ward. ALGERNON You deceived everyone first. JACK That is different. ALGERNON Not at all. Jack sighs with frustration. JACK This situation must end. CECILY But Uncle Jack— JACK Cecily, I forbid this engagement. CECILY You forbid it? JACK Yes. CECILY Why? JACK Because Algernon is extremely unreliable. ALGERNON I object strongly. CECILY Uncle Jack, you must allow me to make my own decision. JACK You are too young. CECILY I am quite capable of understanding my feelings. Jack shakes his head. JACK No. I cannot permit it. Cecily looks hurt. CECILY This is very unfair. At that moment Merriman enters again. MERRIMAN Mr. Worthing. JACK Yes? MERRIMAN A young lady has arrived. JACK A young lady? MERRIMAN Yes, sir. JACK What is her name? MERRIMAN Miss Fairfax. Jack freezes. JACK Gwendolen? MERRIMAN Yes, sir. Cecily looks interested. CECILY Miss Fairfax? JACK Oh dear. ALGERNON This becomes more interesting every minute. Cecily turns to Merriman. CECILY Please show Miss Fairfax into the garden. MERRIMAN Yes, Miss. Merriman leaves. JACK This is a disaster. ALGERNON Not necessarily. JACK Gwendolen believes my name is Ernest. ALGERNON So does Cecily. JACK Exactly. ALGERNON Then we must be careful. JACK Very careful. A moment later Gwendolen enters the garden. She walks with calm confidence. GWENDOLEN Mr. Worthing! JACK Gwendolen! They move toward each other. GWENDOLEN I could not remain in London. I felt that I must see you again. JACK That was very brave. GWENDOLEN My love gives me courage. She notices Cecily. GWENDOLEN And who is this charming young lady? CECILY My name is Cecily Cardew. GWENDOLEN Miss Cardew, I am pleased to meet you. CECILY And I am pleased to meet you. They smile politely. GWENDOLEN Mr. Worthing has spoken of you. CECILY Uncle Jack is very kind. GWENDOLEN Uncle Jack? Cecily nods. CECILY Yes. Mr. Worthing is my guardian. Gwendolen looks surprised. GWENDOLEN Your guardian? CECILY Yes. GWENDOLEN How interesting. Cecily studies Gwendolen carefully. CECILY Miss Fairfax, may I ask you a question? GWENDOLEN Certainly. CECILY Are you engaged? GWENDOLEN Yes. CECILY To whom? GWENDOLEN To Ernest Worthing. Cecily smiles calmly. CECILY How curious. GWENDOLEN Why curious? CECILY Because I am also engaged to Ernest Worthing. Silence fills the garden. Part 6 Act II (continued) Silence fills the garden. Gwendolen and Cecily look at each other carefully. Jack and Algernon stand behind them with great anxiety. GWENDOLEN I beg your pardon? CECILY I said that I am engaged to Ernest Worthing. GWENDOLEN That is impossible. CECILY I assure you it is quite true. GWENDOLEN Mr. Worthing proposed to me yesterday afternoon in London. CECILY Mr. Ernest Worthing proposed to me yesterday afternoon in the garden. GWENDOLEN Then there must be some misunderstanding. CECILY Perhaps. They smile politely, but the smiles are cold. CECILY Will you sit down, Miss Fairfax? GWENDOLEN Thank you. They sit at the small table. Cecily rings a small bell. Merriman enters. CECILY Merriman, please bring tea. MERRIMAN Yes, Miss. He leaves. GWENDOLEN Miss Cardew, may I ask how long you have been engaged to Mr. Ernest Worthing? CECILY For some time. GWENDOLEN Indeed? CECILY Yes. She opens her diary calmly. CECILY According to my diary, we became engaged three months ago. GWENDOLEN Three months ago? CECILY Yes. GWENDOLEN That seems quite impossible. CECILY Why? GWENDOLEN Because Mr. Worthing has been engaged to me since yesterday. CECILY That is rather late. GWENDOLEN I think you must be mistaken. CECILY I rarely make mistakes. They look at each other again. GWENDOLEN Miss Cardew, I feel it my duty to tell you that there is no possibility of your engagement to Mr. Worthing. CECILY I am afraid the same is true of yours. GWENDOLEN Excuse me? CECILY Mr. Ernest Worthing is my fiancé. GWENDOLEN He is mine. Their voices become sharper. GWENDOLEN Miss Cardew, I do not wish to be unpleasant. CECILY Nor do I. GWENDOLEN But the facts are quite clear. CECILY Yes, they are. GWENDOLEN Mr. Worthing loves me. CECILY He loves me. GWENDOLEN You are mistaken. CECILY I am not. At that moment Merriman returns with tea. MERRIMAN Tea, Miss. CECILY Thank you. He places the tray on the table and leaves. Cecily pours tea slowly. CECILY Sugar? GWENDOLEN No, thank you. Cecily calmly puts four lumps of sugar into Gwendolen’s cup. GWENDOLEN Miss Cardew, I said no sugar. CECILY Yes, but sugar is sweet. GWENDOLEN I prefer no sugar. CECILY Very well. She then pours tea for herself. GWENDOLEN Bread and butter, please. CECILY Certainly. She gives Gwendolen a large slice of cake instead. GWENDOLEN I asked for bread and butter. CECILY Cake is more suitable for the afternoon. GWENDOLEN Thank you. They eat in silence. Finally Gwendolen speaks again. GWENDOLEN Miss Cardew, I wish to ask you one more question. CECILY Please do. GWENDOLEN What is the name of your fiancé? CECILY Ernest. GWENDOLEN Of course. CECILY I could never love anyone whose name was not Ernest. GWENDOLEN Nor could I. They both look satisfied for a moment. Then Gwendolen turns suddenly toward Jack. GWENDOLEN Mr. Worthing! JACK Yes, Gwendolen? GWENDOLEN What is your Christian name? Jack hesitates. JACK Jack. GWENDOLEN Jack? CECILY Jack? Both women stare at him. GWENDOLEN Your name is not Ernest? JACK Well— CECILY Uncle Jack! GWENDOLEN Explain yourself immediately. Jack looks extremely uncomfortable. JACK The truth is… my name is Jack. Cecily turns to Algernon. CECILY Then what is your name? ALGERNON Algernon. CECILY Algernon! GWENDOLEN Then neither of you is named Ernest? ALGERNON No. GWENDOLEN This is perfectly absurd. CECILY It is extremely disappointing. Both women stand up angrily. GWENDOLEN You have deceived us. CECILY Both of you. GWENDOLEN I am very angry. CECILY So am I. GWENDOLEN I could not possibly forgive you. CECILY Nor could I. They walk away together. Jack and Algernon remain alone. JACK You have ruined everything. ALGERNON You did the same. JACK My engagement is broken. ALGERNON Mine as well. They sit heavily in the chairs. ALGERNON What shall we do? JACK We must be christened at once. ALGERNON An excellent idea. JACK If we become Ernest, everything will be solved. ALGERNON Yes. JACK Dr. Chasuble can perform the ceremony this afternoon. ALGERNON Perfect. They stand. ALGERNON Let us go and find him. JACK At once. They leave the garden together. The garden becomes quiet again. Part 7 Act III Drawing-room at the Manor House, Woolton. The room is elegant and quiet. A writing table stands near the window. Flowers decorate the room. Gwendolen and Cecily sit together. Their anger has begun to soften. CECILY Miss Fairfax, I feel that I must apologize for the way I behaved. GWENDOLEN Miss Cardew, I must apologize also. CECILY It was not very polite of me to put sugar in your tea. GWENDOLEN And it was not polite of me to criticize your cake. CECILY We were both very upset. GWENDOLEN Yes. They smile a little. CECILY The men behaved very badly. GWENDOLEN Very badly indeed. CECILY Still, I think they were not entirely wicked. GWENDOLEN No. CECILY They simply wished to be named Ernest. GWENDOLEN Which shows that they understand the importance of the name. CECILY Exactly. They laugh softly. Just then Jack enters the room. JACK Gwendolen. GWENDOLEN Mr. Worthing. CECILY Uncle Jack. JACK I have something important to say. GWENDOLEN Yes? JACK I have decided to be christened this afternoon. CECILY Christened? JACK Yes. GWENDOLEN Why? JACK Because I wish to be worthy of your affection. GWENDOLEN That is very admirable. CECILY It is a very good idea. At that moment Algernon enters. ALGERNON Good afternoon. CECILY Mr. Moncrieff. GWENDOLEN Algernon. ALGERNON I also intend to be christened this afternoon. CECILY How wonderful. ALGERNON I feel that it is my duty. JACK Your duty? ALGERNON Yes. JACK This is absurd. ALGERNON Not at all. JACK I told you about the christening first. ALGERNON That does not matter. JACK It matters very much. They begin to argue. GWENDOLEN Please do not quarrel. CECILY Yes, it is not pleasant. At that moment Merriman enters. MERRIMAN Lady Bracknell has arrived. Everyone is surprised. JACK Lady Bracknell? GWENDOLEN Mama! Lady Bracknell enters the room with great dignity. LADY BRACKNELL Good afternoon. GWENDOLEN Mama, what brings you here? LADY BRACKNELL I have come to check on my daughter. She looks around the room. Then she sees Cecily. LADY BRACKNELL And who is this young lady? CECILY My name is Cecily Cardew. LADY BRACKNELL Cardew? JACK Cecily is my ward. LADY BRACKNELL Indeed. She studies Cecily carefully. LADY BRACKNELL Miss Cardew, are you wealthy? CECILY I have a small fortune. LADY BRACKNELL How small? CECILY About one hundred and thirty thousand pounds. Lady Bracknell suddenly becomes very pleased. LADY BRACKNELL A very suitable amount. She turns to Algernon. LADY BRACKNELL Algernon, I believe you know Miss Cardew. ALGERNON Yes, Aunt Augusta. LADY BRACKNELL You are fond of her? ALGERNON Very fond. LADY BRACKNELL Then you may marry her. CECILY Thank you, Lady Bracknell. ALGERNON Thank you, Aunt Augusta. Jack looks shocked. JACK Excuse me. LADY BRACKNELL Yes, Mr. Worthing? JACK Cecily is my ward. LADY BRACKNELL Indeed. JACK And I refuse to allow her to marry Algernon. ALGERNON What? CECILY Uncle Jack! LADY BRACKNELL You refuse? JACK Yes. LADY BRACKNELL May I ask why? JACK Because Lady Bracknell refuses to allow me to marry Gwendolen. Lady Bracknell pauses. LADY BRACKNELL This is extremely inconvenient. JACK I agree. LADY BRACKNELL Mr. Worthing, you must understand that my daughter cannot marry someone who was found in a handbag. JACK Until that matter is solved, I cannot approve Algernon’s marriage. LADY BRACKNELL This is very unreasonable. JACK Perhaps. LADY BRACKNELL The situation must be clarified. She turns to Merriman. LADY BRACKNELL Send for Miss Prism. MERRIMAN Yes, madam. He leaves. CECILY Miss Prism? GWENDOLEN Why Miss Prism? LADY BRACKNELL Miss Prism may be able to explain something important. A few moments later Miss Prism enters nervously. MISS PRISM Lady Bracknell! LADY BRACKNELL Miss Prism. Miss Prism looks frightened. LADY BRACKNELL I believe you once worked for my sister. MISS PRISM Yes, Lady Bracknell. LADY BRACKNELL And I believe you once lost a baby. Miss Prism gasps. MISS PRISM Lady Bracknell! LADY BRACKNELL Please explain. Miss Prism trembles. MISS PRISM It was many years ago. LADY BRACKNELL Go on. MISS PRISM I was responsible for a baby boy. Everyone listens closely. MISS PRISM One day I placed the manuscript of a novel in a perambulator. LADY BRACKNELL Yes? MISS PRISM And I accidentally placed the baby in a handbag. Shock fills the room. MISS PRISM I left the handbag at Victoria Station. Jack suddenly becomes very excited. JACK Victoria Station? MISS PRISM Yes. JACK Was the handbag large and black? MISS PRISM Yes. JACK Then I must find it at once. He rushes toward the door. JACK It is upstairs in my room. He runs out of the room. Everyone waits in silence. Part 8 Act III (continued) The room is silent. Everyone waits. Lady Bracknell sits calmly in a chair. Gwendolen stands beside her. Cecily and Algernon whisper quietly. Miss Prism looks extremely nervous. After a moment Jack returns quickly. He carries a large black handbag. JACK Is this the handbag? Miss Prism looks at it with fear. MISS PRISM Yes. LADY BRACKNELL Are you quite certain? MISS PRISM Yes, Lady Bracknell. JACK Then this explains everything. LADY BRACKNELL Indeed. Jack places the handbag on the table. JACK I was the baby in this handbag. Everyone looks at him. GWENDOLEN You? CECILY Uncle Jack? JACK Yes. He turns to Miss Prism. JACK You left me in the cloakroom at Victoria Station. MISS PRISM I deeply regret the mistake. JACK Fortunately I was discovered by a kind gentleman. LADY BRACKNELL Who was that gentleman? JACK Mr. Thomas Cardew. CECILY My grandfather! JACK Yes. CECILY Then you are not really my uncle. JACK No. CECILY You are my older brother! JACK Exactly. Cecily smiles with delight. CECILY How wonderful! Jack turns to Lady Bracknell. JACK Now that my origin is known, I hope you will allow me to marry Gwendolen. Lady Bracknell thinks carefully. LADY BRACKNELL There is still one question. JACK What question? LADY BRACKNELL Who were your parents? JACK I was a baby in a handbag. LADY BRACKNELL Yes, but whose baby? She turns slowly toward Miss Prism. LADY BRACKNELL Miss Prism, whose child was the baby you lost? MISS PRISM It was the child of your sister. Lady Bracknell rises suddenly. LADY BRACKNELL My sister! MISS PRISM Yes. LADY BRACKNELL Then the child was the younger son of General Moncrieff. Miss Prism nods nervously. MISS PRISM Yes. Algernon suddenly jumps up. ALGERNON General Moncrieff was my father! LADY BRACKNELL Exactly. She looks proudly at Jack. LADY BRACKNELL Mr. Worthing, you are the elder son of General Moncrieff. Jack looks astonished. JACK Then Algernon is my younger brother. ALGERNON My dear brother! They shake hands warmly. CECILY This is delightful. GWENDOLEN Yes, it is. Jack turns again to Lady Bracknell. JACK Now that my family is known, may I marry Gwendolen? LADY BRACKNELL Certainly. GWENDOLEN At last! She moves happily toward Jack. GWENDOLEN My dear Ernest. Jack hesitates. JACK Gwendolen, I must tell you something. GWENDOLEN Yes? JACK My name is not Ernest. GWENDOLEN Not Ernest? JACK No. He looks at Lady Bracknell. JACK Aunt Augusta, what was the name of General Moncrieff’s eldest son? LADY BRACKNELL The eldest son was named Ernest. Jack becomes very still. JACK Ernest? LADY BRACKNELL Yes. Jack smiles slowly. JACK Then I have always been Ernest. GWENDOLEN Of course you have. CECILY How perfect! ALGERNON My dear Ernest, I congratulate you. Jack turns to Gwendolen. JACK Gwendolen, it seems that I have been telling the truth all my life. GWENDOLEN I always believed you. Jack smiles with quiet happiness. JACK Now I understand, for the first time in my life, the importance of being Earnest.